I stand today grasping at shadows, remembering ______________, someone who I wish I knew better. During their life, I knew only a fraction of their many identities.
Why is it that I couldn’t know them more fully? Was it that at times some of their identities pushed me away or made me recoil? Was it that there was not enough time? Or that the time we had together we did not make as worthwhile as it could have been getting to know one another?
I feel the loss not only of them but of missed opportunities.
Barukh Dayan Ha-Emet. Blessed is the infinite knower. Only you can know all of our complexities fully. Bring comfort to me, that what I knew about my loved one is enough. Remind me that whatever memories I have are sources of blessings, even if I need to seek out the blessings in those memories. And though __________________ is no longer with me on earth, let my relationship with them continue to grow. May I continue to better understand them with time, as I continue to understand myself.
The feminine name of God, expounded upon in the rabbinic era and then by the Kabbalists in extensive literature on the feminine attributes of the divine., surround the many identities of my loved one in your wings. Let them forever be sheltered in your compassionate, all-knowing presence, and let their many identities be united into a whole, a sense of shalom.