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The Compassion of the Womb

swirling colors representing the universe
 
A Poem for the Removal of Uterine Fibroids
 
The sages say in the womb
a light shines
and the fetus can see
from one end of the universe
to the other,
and there are no days
of greater happiness than this.[1]
 
It was Job who recalled that time
with nostalgia and delight,
when G-d’s secret counsel
hovered over his body.[2]
Before the angel’s strike,
before the air pushes into lungs,
before the first cry —
there in the womb
We have our first taste of wisdom.
 
And this entire universe
is compared to a womb,
an empty space of creation
in which a single beam of light
shines in,
the crowning of creation
the universe’s first breath.
 
And in my womb there is a space
but there is no light,
because
no one is there.
 
When my sons were young
and would say about pregnancy
I carried them in my stomach,
I corrected them:
in my uterus.
I felt they should have the word
even though not born with one.
 
But the Hebrew word for
womb and uterus is the same:
רחם, the root of compassion.
Hashem added compassion,
the selfless generosity
of womb-love,
to a world with only justice,
because without it,
the world could not survive.[3]
 
A uterus will expand
for whatever needs it,
life or otherwise.
And so mine has widened
for overgrowths
like weeds in a garden —
thank goodness benign,
but unwanted — just
cells and tissue,
doing only harm and no good.
 
My uterus will hold
anything that arises.
She weeps to kill a fly.
More than her compassion
is needed
to recognize her residents
now need to go.
 
There is cognitive dissonance
scheduling a procedure
associated with life and choice
when this is neither.
But I tell my uterus
(I hope and pray)
we’ll feel better
with these things gone.
 
And I thank her
for being the space
inside me
that always holds
whatever grows,
even the smallest parts
that do not belong.

 

Notes:

  1.  Niddah 30b
  2. Job 29:2-4
  3. Rashi to Genesis 1:1
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