Seed of Light

Kislev 5783
We can’t see a seed of light
In the brightness of the day.
Arrow of rose quartz
Resting on my chest
Its six-sided column;
One end pointing
Toward my heart,
The other,
The full roundness
Of my mouth,
This is the crystal I bought 
On the Island of Death,
After you died, mom.
I bought it 
Because you had died.
On the threshold 
Of the month of dreams,
Deep in that light 
Only darkness reveals,
Trust moves me to sleep. 
Right hand surrounding 
The stone ‘round my neck,
The stone I placed there,
Dreaming herself opens.
There was a bat 
In my living room.
It flew out 
The open doorway
To my home,
While heavy Torah scroll
Leaned fully against 
My heart.
Facing early morning darkness,
An irregular cloud
Of black bats converge,
Flying directly
Toward my open vessel:
Their alternate perspective,
Is most welcome here.
Following this dream,
I dressed for you,
And took You to my bed.
I don’t yet understand
Why my heart is on my left side,
The side of Gevurah,
Unless it means
That it is your heart,
That is more precious 
Than my own.
I think this,
My ear listening,
As a drum pulses
On the right side 
Of your chest,
k.d. lang smoothly crooning 
In the background,
All I need is the air
That I breathe,
And to love you.”
Laying down
In Teshuvah,
In the glory of Hod
Humbly I (re)turn to You.
You are always there.
Torah teaches
Our leaving,
For home,
Is always
In the direction
Of love.
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