Ritual for Medical Aid in Dying

This ritual was inspired by a request from my dad to support his brother, my uncle. His cancer journey was swift and ferocious. He died surrounded by his family, knowing he lived a life he was proud of, filled with adventure and love. My hope is that this ritual will support you as you help your loved one to transition peacefully and filled with love. 

As we adapt modern approaches to life and death, we can draw inspiration from our rich tapestry of traditional rituals to craft new practices that resonate with our evolving values and needs. This ritual draws from the essence of the traditional Tahara ceremony, traditionally performed to honor the departed by washing and shrouding the body while chanting sacred psalms. After performing the Tahara ritual, participants visit a mikvah, symbolizing the transition from the realm of death to that of life.

In embracing elements of the Tahara ritual within this contemporary context, we forge a bridge between tradition and innovation, offering solace and meaning amidst the flux of modernity.

A note from Larry, my dad: My younger brother was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer. As his prognosis became terminal, his pain management minimally effective, and his organs began to fail, my brother chose, with medical assistance, to end his life. Absent Jewish teachings and rituals surrounding the medically assisted ending of a loved one’s life, we offer the following as a guideline through a “most beautiful and tragic” life event.

Ritual for Medical Aid in Dying

Supplies Needed:

• Beautiful Candle
• Matches/Lighter
• Bowl of water (rain water, ocean water, water from your favorite creek or lake, or simply tap water) & a small hand towel
• Any other item to create your sacred space 

Preparation:

1. Prepare the Space:

• • Set out your supplies, including the candle. 
    • Lay out a beautiful cloth, on top of a dresser, night table or other surface to put your items upon.
  • Chant psalms and other your favorite prayers, poems or music to create a serene and sacred environment.
    • Chant for Healing
    • Psalm 23
    • Ein Od

2. Light the Candle:

• • Light a candle to signify the beginning of the transition. This creates a ritual space for the dying person.
  •  Invite others who are not physically present to connect in by lighting a candle at the same time.

3. Medicine Taking and Prayer:

• • As the process of taking medicine begins, recite the following prayer written by Kohenet Keshira haLev Fife:  Prayer for One Nearing the End of Life. 
  • Continue to chant psalms and other prayers, offering words of comfort, gratitude, and love.
    • With the Earth
    • Thinking About My Funeral
    • Loved Ones Vidui

4. Support and Transition:

• •  Remain present and supportive, speaking words of comfort, gratitude, and love until the person passes.
  • Once the transition is complete, send a message to everyone involved to signify the end.
  • Stay with  your loved one until the caretakers remove the body. 

5. Closing and Shifting:

• • At the appointed time, once the body of your loved one has been removed from the room, all participants will extinguish their candles.
  • Open a window to begin to shift the energy of the room. 
  • As you step out of the room, gently pour water over your hands to signify the transition and closing of the ritual.

6. Candle Preservation:

• • Keep the candle for the next year to light in memory of the person on special occasions, such as their birthday or holidays.