Ne’ilah: Another Door Opens

dark photo of person walking through door with yellow light
I have come to the conclusion
that there is no book
no final decree
there is only choice
and we must actively
choose life
 
We must let ourselves be chosen
Nothing we do can determine that
What we do get to decide
is what kind of life do we choose?
 
The closing of the gates
is no final seal for the upcoming year
We all know that when one door closes
another door opens
So, no, this cannot be the end
This must be some kind of beginning
 
Death is inevitable
We do not get to choose the when,
the where, the why, the how
What we do get to choose
is the quality of the time we have
And when we say: choose life
we have to grab onto this one life we have
and decide to get to know it authentically
 
It is a wrestling match at times
but we are, most often
right here
somewhere in the middle of the story
The beginning was written long ago
The first several chapters
were not our choosing
and the end is the great unknown
So, what are we going to do with now?
 
The real grappling is not what to do with the rest of our lives
But rather what to do with the todays and tomorrows
The highs and lows, the blessed and the mundane, the hands to hold along the way and the times we must walk alone and afraid
It is not in reaching the highest peak
and knowing you have arrived
We are always arriving
There is no final destination
The journey is the goal
 
There is a constant rhythm
of opening and closing gates
There is no other way to get
to the here-ness, the now-ness
and to what lies ahead
We fall, we rise, we grow, we stumble again, we lift ourselves back up
we grieve, we celebrate, we create joy, we bless, we curse, we join, we lead, we walk, we dance
There is no judgement
There is no final decree
We are going through gates
all the time

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