How to Breathe You

Holiest of whole-ness,
Adonai, are you here?
I feel terrified,
Are you bored, overwhelmed,
is this virus not your creation?
Are you needed elsewhere? Stretched impossibly thin?
Need some time off?
I used to know you – now I know nothing.

Sometimes holiness is a joke, sometimes a fairy tale.
Sometimes I can think my way to feeling something.
If I loosen my grip, my
heart trembles, and I feel it crack,
something pushing to get inside.

But now –
for a minute, a second, I feel your presence near me
then you flit away, and I am grasping at air,
thrown around by this terrifying world
buffeted, banging into walls
grasping, gasping.

So now what?
Do you care?
Are you lost,
exhausted, like we are? Like I am?
Stumbling, falling, terrified?

I will breathe. 
I will breathe in whatever terrifying droplets are in the air. 
I will breathe you into me, I will breathe out a song,
I will breathe out a prayer to wrap around us all.
I can breathe you into me.
I will try to remember how to breathe in, and breathe out;
how to breathe you into me, breathe out a song
Stretch it long enough, big enough, far enough to hold us up. 
I open my eyes, my heart stops pounding,
I hold out my arms, open my hands.
For a second a minute an hour a day
Adonai, I praise you, I see you, I feel you. 

Share on facebook
Share on email

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

Shop Ritualwell - Discover unique Judaica products

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network