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Created Darkness and the Fashioning of Light

black and white photo of road in desert opening up to mountains and sky of dark and light clouds
It was only
An hour ago
That I said to my husband,
“All of life’s goodness
Is coming at the end.”
 
My life is 
Proving to be
A progression
In reverse,
An inverse
Of chronology
Of the plague
Of hoshekh:
Darkness.
 
It wasn’t until
I was nineteen
That I had my first
Happy day.
 
I am told
That the Torah
Is our autobiography
And that our lives
Move in spirals,
And, Barukh HaShem,
I do not know how,
But here I am.
One of those 
Who left,
Who happened upon
The Hebrews 
In the wandering
Of their 40 years.
And, lo,
Light is 
Illuminating me.
 
This is not a poem.
I don’t know 
If it is anything.
I cannot claim
It is apart
From everything. 
 
Da’at – all is relational,
All is connected,
The dark
And the light,
The groping
And the growth,
The despair
And the transcendence.
 
All can be rendered
Into the same
Through the mystery
Of the alchemy
In the yirah
Of the Divine.
 
“Life is a very narrow bridge.
The important thing
Is to not be afraid.”*
 
* Adapted from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
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