A Hanukkah Ritual to Mark the Incompleteness of Our Joy

a hanukkan menorah with all lights lit but the eighth candle
“Who can retell the things that befell us? Who can count them?” -popular English verses for Mi Yimalel 
 
This Hanukkah song has been stuck in my head for the last few weeks. Throughout my life, I have understood Mi Yimalel as about the distant past, about Jewish history. This year, it is also about the present. There are approximately 140 hostages still in captivity.  
 
How do we celebrate a time of miracles and light when they are literally underground without access to sunlight? How do we hold it all?  
 
 While we must affirm life and find ways to go on, we cannot proceed as if Oct 7 did not happen. Our joy is incomplete. At the Passover seder, we remove drops of wine from our cup for each plague. We intentionally diminish our joy in order to remember and acknowledge. This Hanukkah, on the 8th night, I will leave the final candle unlit as an expression of incompleteness of our joy.  I invite you to join me in this modification to the Hanukkah candle lighting ritual if you too want to remember and acknowledge the complications and incompleteness of joy this Hanukkah.  
 
 As a Reconstructionist Jew, I don’t understand miracles in the traditional sense. For me, God works through us, not upon us. I don’t know exactly who the “hero or sage” is who can come to the aid of the hostages and facilitate their immediate release, yet I pray that all those who have any power that could be used towards that outcome do so, speedily and with all of their might.  
 
I pray for the hostages and their families: for strength, for hope, for healing. May they know they are not alone. May they know they are counted. 
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on email
Email

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

Shop Ritualwell - Discover unique Judaica products

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Jewish Spiritual Autobiography

 Writing a spiritual autobiography helps you to discover how teachers, touchstones, symbols and stories have led you to make meaning and understand the sacred in your personal story. In this immersion, join Ritualwell’s Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer, a writer and spiritual director, to map out and narrate your most sacred life experiences. Four sessions starting May 16, 2024. 

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network