Blessings for B’nai Mitzvah

After the #ReimagineBnaiMitzvah chat, what emerged for me most strongly were not answers but questions. People tweeted a lot of questions: how can we encourage students to take ownership of their own b’nai mitzvah journey? Is there a way to do b’nai mitzvah which doesn’t reinforce binary notions of gender? How can we tend to the unique soul of every child, regardless of where they are on the spectrum of gender and sexuality? Is there a core body of material which we expect our b’nai mitzvah students to master? What kind of role does (or should) social justice play in their learning?

These prayers arose in response to the chat. I hope that they will speak to our b’nai mitzvah students, to those who are entrusted with their care—and also to people in “traditional” congregational contexts, and people whose Jewish lives unfold outside of congregational walls.

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Before the formal celebration: Prayers before tying tzitzitA set of fringes tied and knotted on each of the four corners of a tallit, symbolizing and reminding the user of God's commandments. Some Jews wear tzizit under their clothes at all times, with the fringes visible.

 

Transliteration:
Vayomer Adonay el-Moshe lemor: Daber el-b’ney Yisrael v’amarta alehem: v’asu lahem tzitzit
Al-kanfei vigdeyhem lidrotam, v’natnu al-tzitzit hacanaf p’til t’khelet. V’hayah lahem l’tzitzit
Ur’ittem oto u’zkhartem et-kol-mitzvot Adonay, v’asitem otam, v’lo taturo akherei
L’vavkhem v’acharey eyneykhem, asher atem zonim akhareyhem.

 

English:

And God spoke to MosesThe quintessential Jewish leader who spoke face to face with God, unlike any other prophet, and who freed the people from Egypt, led them through the desert for forty years, and received the Torah on Mt. Sinai. His Hebrew name is Moshe. saying: speak to the children of IsraelLit. ''the one who struggles with God.'' Israel means many things. It is first used with reference to Jacob, whose name is changed to Israel (Genesis 32:29), the one who struggles with God. Jacob's children, the Jewish people, become B'nai Israel, the children of Israel. The name also refers to the land of Israel and the State of Israel. and say to them

that they should make tzitzit on the corners of their garments for all time,

and they shall place on the tzitzit a little thread of blue.

And these shall be for you as tzitzit, that you may look upon them,

that you will remember all of the mitzvotLit. Commandment. It is traditionally held that there are 613 mitzvot (plural) in Judaism, both postive commandments (mandating actions) and negative commandments (prohibiting actions). Mitzvah has also become colloquially assumed to mean the idea of a “good deed." of Adonai and you shall do them,

so that you will not go running after the cravings of your heart

or the turnings of your eyes which might take you into places

where you should not be!

 

 

Transliteration:
L’ma’an tizk’ru va’asitem el-kol-mitzvotai, vi’hey’yitem k’doshim leieloheikhem: Ani Adonay eloheikhem
Asher hotzeti etkhem me’eretz MitzrayimLit. Egypt. Because the Hebrew word for narrow is tzar, Mitzrayim is also understood as "narrowness," as in, the narrow and confining places in life from which one emerges physically and spiritually., l’hiot lakhem le’elohim, Ani Adonay eloheikhem.

English:
So that you may remember and do all of My mitzvot

and that way be holy with your God.

I am Adonai your God,

The One Who brought you

out of the land of Egypt

to be your God.

I am Adonai your God!

 

 

For the rabbi, parent, or teacher:

 

Torah instructs us

to tie tzitzit on the corners of our garment

so that we may look upon them

and remember the mitzvot.

 

Mitzvot are connections

which link us with Torah

and link us with God

and link us with our ancestors.

 

Tzitzit adorn the edges

of our prayer shawls

as mezuzot adorn the edges

of our doorways.

 

We find holiness at the edges

between day and night

between inside and outside

between childhood and adulthood.

 

When you wrap yourself in this tallitA four-cornered garment to which ritual fringes (tzitzit/tzitzi'ot) are affixed. The knots in the fringes represent the name of God and remind us of God's commandments. The tallit is worn during prayer and can also be drawn about oneself or around the bride and groom to symbolize divine protection.

may you feel enfolded

in the loving embrace

of the Divine.

 

When you notice your tzitzit

may you be reminded

to lead a life of mitzvot

and awareness.

 

 

For the b’nai mitzvah:

 

I am taking up these threads

with the holy intention

of tying tzitzit

which will remind me

of God and of my traditions.

 

 

 

Today you take responsibility

for your own Jewishness

and your own practice of mitzvot.

 

Becoming b’nai mitzvah means

that the Torah is “yours”

in a new and deeper way:

yours to learn and to teach,

to question and to celebrate.

 

Becoming b’nai mitzvah means

that the mitzvot are “yours”

in a new and deeper way:

yours to practice and to wrestle with,

to strive to understand.

 

Today as you reach the age of mitzvah

you mark a milestone

in your transition to adulthood.

 

Though tradition teaches that today

your good deeds and your mistakes

accrue to your karmic balance

and no longer to mine,

may I still be privileged

to walk beside you and offer guidance.

And I look forward

to continuing to learn from you

as you become the person

you most deeply yearn to be.

 

May we, your community and your family,

be a blessing for you

as you are a blessing for us.

 

 

 

I am ready and willing

to take on mitzvot

as a Jewish young adult.

 

Today I affirm

that my Jewishness matters to me.

 

I promise to take seriously

my Jewish obligation

to take care of others

and to care for our earth.

 

I promise to take seriously

my relationship with Torah

even when it upsets me.

 

I promise that I will never stop learning.

 

When Moses stood

at the Burning Bush

God identified God’s-self

as אהיה אשר אהיה, “I am Becoming

Who I am Becoming.”

 

God is always

becoming something new

and so am I.

 

I don’t know what my future holds

but I will meet that future

as a Jew.

 

I will try to question

and I will try to love the stranger

and I will try to be grateful

starting right here,

right now.

 

 

 

Today marks a transition

for all of you.

 

Whether you live

under one roof or several,

whether you are related

by blood or by affection

you are family to one another

and your lives are all impacted

by this milestone.

 

Perhaps recent months

have been filled with the lilt

of Torah practice.

Perhaps you helped

our b’nai mitzvah

in doing acts of justice

and lovingkindness.

Perhaps you have been

a shoulder to cry on.

Perhaps you have needed

a shoulder to cry on.

 

Take a deep breath…

…and let it all go.

Be in this moment:

surrounded by those who love you,

celebrating this milestone with community

in the presence of God.

 

May the sweetness of this day

stay with you

as you walk the road ahead

toward this b’nai mitzvah

becoming more truly

the person they are meant to be.

(And let us say: Amen.)