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Bnei Mitzvah

Three people smiling and holding a Torah scroll, with colorful clothing and a warm setting.

Bar/bat mitzvah parties so dominate the social lives of teens in New York City that, according to a New York Times article, non-Jewish families are holding “faux mitzvahs” for their envious offspring. What is a bar/bat mitzvah supposed to be? How did it end up like this? Read our overview to learn more, and check out the many new ways families are meaningfully enhancing their bar/bat mitzvah celebrations.

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A program involving text study, the creation of blessings, and tzedakah, welcoming girls into the rich continuum of Jewish women’s experience
bat mitzvah on bima carrying torah
This list, compiled for Orthodox girls, has good ideas for anyone planning a bar or bat mitzvah.
teenaged girl smiling against blue sky
A guide to creating a meaningful ceremony within the framework of traditional Judaism
Toward a Meaningful Bat Mitzvah book by Nancy Wolfson-Moche

Various congregrations in Israel recite this prayer in synagogue for a bat mitzvah. It is adapted from the standard Siddur Rinat Yisrael.

grassy path at sunset

A traditional bat mitzvah prayer from the community of Florence, Italy

teenaged girl facing a sculpture garden in Florence, Italy

A mother’s prayer, written for her son’s bar mitzvah

teenaged boy's face against green background

A beautiful poem about a daughter’s coming of age

A woman sits against a tree, reading a tablet, surrounded by a sunny, grassy park.
Riffing on the now-traditional candle-lighting, this ceremony offers a candle for eight women in Jewish history.
A person holding a lit candle at a nighttime vigil, surrounded by others with candles.
A beautiful alternative to a candle-lighting ceremony
Person holding a silver cup with cutout designs, wearing a purple shirt.

The Reconstructionist Network

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