Ezrat Nafsheinu—Soul sustainer,
I’m tempted to go get my tallisA four-cornered garment to which ritual fringes (tzitzit/tzitzi'ot) are affixed. The knots in the fringes represent the name of God and remind us of God's commandments. The tallit is worn during prayer and can also be drawn about oneself or around the bride and groom to symbolize divine protection., sit with my legs tucked up underneath me, and wrap myself in fabric and string.
I feel small and vulnerable. I feel exposed. I feel like my nerves are raw, and I jump at the sound of every notification, every phone call. My brain is telling me that these sounds are what will come before I am forced into a new chapter of my life, a chapter that I would rather excise from my book entirely, a chapter that I would wish on no one.
And so, I’m tempted to go getA writ of divorce. Traditionally, only a man can grant his wife a get. Liberal Jews have amended this tradition, making divorce more egalitarian. my tallis and swaddle myself in its symbolism, in its protection.
I imagine that the cloth would blunt the intensity of the world outside of my body and would help me contain the fear that threatens to escape.
I ask You, Sustainer of our Souls, to spread Your comfort over me.
I ask You to wrap me up in Your love and Your strength.
I ask that You help me to feel the comfort of the tallis that I always wear—the tallis woven from the threads of my tradition, my community’s support, and my family’s love.
Amen
