Personal Vidui: Forgiving Myself

I am confronted by the urgency of this day.
My heart pounds as I rush to repent before the Gates close. 
But repent to whom/to what?
Help me cut through the unknown that blocks me
So that I can know myself and know You.
Without that knowledge repentance means nothing.
Help me God
Forgive me God, I pray over and over again
But I am met with silence.
Louder, again and again I call out as I pound my chest
Listing my wrong doings
Listing my failings
Listing my shortcomings
But I am met with silence.
Aware of the seriousness of my situation I turn within for help
Softer, again and again I murmur as I pound my chest
Searching for a way forward 
Searching for a key to forgiveness. 
Searching for you, God.

But I know that only I have the key to my forgiveness.
Without forgiveness I am lost.

Even as I pray to you I know I am praying that I have strength and wisdom to face myself
Will I be able to forgive my wrongdoings;

Forgive my failings;
Forgive my shortcomings?
Can I acknowledge that I am not the sum total of my sins?
Can I acknowledge that I am also
Helping others?

Yes, I make mistakes
Yes, I miss the mark

And yes, I am human.

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

Shop Ritualwell - Discover unique Judaica products

The Reconstructionist Network

Learning to Say "We": Writing Identity

In this immersion, we will reflect and expand on our personal experiences of identity, using writing exercises and in-depth discussions to think about, challenge, discover, explore, and experiment with different ways to identify ourselves, to consider how those ways connect us to and separate us from others, and how they represent and misrepresent aspects of who we are.

Four sessions, starting June 15th

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.