Personal Kol Nidrei

Again, still, I stand before you
Again, still, I expect no response
Yet, as day ends
Rays of the light of forgiveness created before I was
Surround me.
I cannot hide
I lift up my face toward the light with expectation
Knowing that nothing that was done can be undone
Yet also knowing that the miracle of atonement exists even for me, a poor sinner
And for you
I tilt my face toward the sound of music
And the sound of mumbling.
We are all sinners, asking for the miracle of atonement
Year after year we make vows
Year after year we fall short
Year after year the music infuses us with hope
Knowing that sins from the previous day of atonement cannot be erased
Yet hoping
Standing before you and the whole congregation
I vow that from this day of atonement to the next I will not repeat the same mistakes.
That these past mistakes, not repeated, shall be as stepping stones to You.
I lift up my face toward the light with expectation
I am bathed in the light of repentance
Like from a mikveh I emerge, 
Not new born 
But clean
La’zeman Hazeh

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