It’s 3:00 a.m.
I can’t sleep.
I am awake.
I am heartbroken.
I am exhausted.
I am spent.
I am raw.
I cry.
I cry for the children.
I cry for the grandparents.
I cry for the parents.
I cry for the young adults.
I cry for their families.
I cry for their friends.
I cry for us all.
I mourn.
I mourn for lives lost and lives that are forever altered.
I mourn for murdered victims and their loved ones.
I mourn for kidnapped victims and their loved ones.
I mourn for injured victims and their loved ones.
I mourn for families with gaping holes that will never be filled.
I mourn for music lovers for whom concerts will never be the same.
I mourn for current and past kibbutz residents for whom kibbutz life will never be the same.
I mourn for ordinary people in Israel and all over the world for whom Israel will never be the same.
I mourn for Israel, which will never be the same.
I fear.
I fear war.
I fear for the people living in Israel.
I fear for the innocent people living in Gaza.
I fear for our IDF soldiers, little more than children themselves.
I fear for what this war will bring to the Jewish people across the world.
I fear for all who are experiencing even more antisemitism.
I fear for the future of Israel.
I fear for our future in the diaspora.
I worry.
I worry about the fate of the hostages.
I worry about people anxiously awaiting news of their loved ones.
I worry about people mourning the deaths of their loved ones.
I worry about innocent civilians caught in the crossfire.
I worry about the shaping of world opinion by propaganda and hatred.
I worry about seeing pictures that will break me.
I worry about reading news that will break me.
I worry about hearing stories that will break me.
I worry about the divides this is creating between people.
I worry about the friendships that have already been damaged and broken.
I grieve.
I grieve the loss of life.
I grieve the loss of innocent life.
I grieve the inevitable further loss of innocent life.
I grieve the loss of a way of life.
I grieve the loss of humanity.
I pray.
I pray for a swift end to this unwanted war.
I pray for innocents to be spared injury, death and heartache.
I pray for Israel to maintain its commitment to life.
I pray for the world to affirm Israel’s right to exist.
I pray for Israel to feel safe again.
I pray for the people living in Israel to feel safe again.
I pray for the people living in Gaza to feel safe again.
I pray for the suffering to end.
And I hope.
I hope that all people in the region will find a way to live in harmony with one another.
I hope that we all learn to love our neighbors as ourselves.
I hope that we begin to see every other person as b’tzelem Elohim, in the image of God.
I hope – and I pray – for peace.
