I Feel Then a Tear: A Prayer in the Eyes of a Queer Man

O Lord, I yearn for my beloved.
I yearn for his touch.
Our hands do not lace, like the tzitzit.
I wish they would.
Have You not seen my tears? 
O Lord most high.
Have You not heard the sound of my heart breaking?
I walk alone, with none to comfort me.
I yearn for his soul to envelop mine.
I wish our lips would meet.
You and I both know why this dream of mine is not reality.
I am a stranger, in this land.
Those around me turn away in disgust, they look upon me with pity.
They speak curses at me, as if to hasten my death.
Wishing that evil will befall me.
They look upon me as a curse, sent from the depths of Sheol.
Like a Dybbuk, sent to corrupt them.
In this land I am a curse.
Here in this narrow place of jagged rock.
I lift my hands on high, toward the heavens.
Crying out to You.
You have seen my tears, You have heard my heart breaking.
Your shelter you draped over me, in the form of a tallit.
You make a table before my enemies, my cup overflows.
You anoint my head with oil.
You surround me with Your presence.
I feel then a tear, then look up to see You.
Weeping with me.
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

Shop Ritualwell - Discover unique Judaica products

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Count On Telling Your Story: A Ritualwell In-Person Immersion

Join us for Count On Telling Your Story: A Ritualwell In-Person Immersion on Sunday, June 9th. Mix and mingle with old and new friends, enjoy delicious kosher-vegetarian food and engage in a variety of creative, thought-provoking sessions exploring rituals, writing, and art.

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network