Healing From Jewish Institutional Trauma

Holy One
You made me in Your image,
my body, merely a vessel 
serving as home for my soul.
 
You know that I am imperfectly holy,
but the voice You gave me
is meant to be used
to speak truth to power
even when I am trembling.
 
You will not abandon me
even when others who don’t like
what I have to say
choose to gaslight me, ignore me,
invalidate me,
closing doors to sanctuaries. 
I know that the door you’ve always
opened wide for my soul
remains.
 
Adonai, provider of comfort,
please help me to be strong 
when I feel small,
by words or deeds or both,
when everything in me shouts “no,”
help me find myself 
so 
that I can once again know
what is real.
 
Help me begin to heal
as I struggle in deep discernment. 
Guide me as I walk this path alone
(but not alone because you are here alongside me).
Hold me when my feet get tired. 
Soothe me when I am afraid
that I may never have the things I once had
or be the person I once was.
 
Love me when I feel unlovable, 
when all the air has left my lungs 
from the tears, the anxious heartbeat
that feels like it may suffocate me.

Breathe me back to life. 
Lift me high above this mortal world
so I can see it more clearly 
in all of its significance and insignificance. 
 
Holy One
Help me accept my brokenness. 
When all else fails
give me courage to let go
of places and people 
who abused my trust
who let me down
who didn’t listen when I spoke 
who lied to me
who used me to maintain 
their positions of power
who sought to do me harm 
whether intentionally or unintentionally. 
 
Guide me toward true liberation 
so that I may once again
be the sacred vessel  
You created me to be.
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