Faith During an Uncertain Future after Infertility

hands holding yellow zinnia
Somewhere between the stirrups and the paper nightgown clinging nervously to my body,
My soul ascended mid-air like an artist on a trapeze.
Unsure where to grab hold.
On the one end children, birthday parties and ice cream.
And on the other, withered down eggshells.
Cast away from the last Passover Seder.
(Does the plague of the firstborn move in my body, still?)
The doctor talked so casually of my desert.
And so definitely of my future.
That all I’ve known since then is bondage.
The shackles of what other people tell me about my body.
And the prison populated by the lie that led me here; that I am a plague and no longer, life.
Ha Kadosh Barukh Hu,
Help me see myself as you do.
To walk faithfully in your Image.
Filled with movement and the spirit of all the living.
Lead me back to myself.
And to the ancient Promise you bequeathed our People.
Then, back to you.
So the soul who once dared on the trapeze.
Can at last, let her arms go,
And dare bravely to come back to life.

Come back to You.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

Shop Ritualwell - Discover unique Judaica products

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Count On Telling Your Story: A Ritualwell In-Person Immersion

Join us for Count On Telling Your Story: A Ritualwell In-Person Immersion on Sunday, June 9th. Mix and mingle with old and new friends, enjoy delicious kosher-vegetarian food and engage in a variety of creative, thought-provoking sessions exploring rituals, writing, and art.

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network