Rabbi: Psalm 121
A song for ascents.
I turn my eyes to the mountains;
from where will my help come?
My help comes from GOD,
maker of heaven and earth.
[God] will not let your foot give way;
your guardian will not slumber.
See, the guardian of Israel
neither slumbers nor sleeps!
GOD is your guardian,
GOD is your protection
at your right hand.
By day the sun will not strike you,
nor the moon by night.
GOD will guard you from all harm,
and will guard your life.
GOD will guard your going and coming
now and forever.
Miranda: Psalm 130
A song of ascents.
Out of the depths I call You, O ETERNAL One.
O my Sovereign, listen to my cry;
let Your ears be attentive
to my plea for mercy.
If You keep account of sins, O Yah,
my Sovereign, who will survive?
Yours is the power to forgive
so that You may be held in awe.
I look to GOD;
my whole being is looking;
I await God’s word.
I am more eager for my Sovereign
than guards for the morning,
guards for the morning.
O Israel, wait for GOD;
for with GOD is steadfast love
and great power to redeem.
It is this One who will redeem Israel from all their iniquities.
Rabbi: Seeing that our days are determined, and that the number of our months are with You, You set limits that we cannot pass. (from Job 14:5)
Miranda: God, I am weary and grieved. I was hoping for the birth of more children to delight our home. My arms yearned to cradle new life, my mouth to sing soft lullabies. Holding Mona close, I mourn all the more the potential for children who would bring us the same joy. I am saddened and I am angry. I weep and I mourn. Wrap me, O Creator of Life, in your healing arms for the lives that could not be.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי זוֹכֵר יְצוּרָיו לְחַיִּים ברַחֲמִים
Barukh Atah Adonay, zokher y’tzurav l’khayim v’rakhamim.
Blessed are You, Eternal our God, whose compassion renews us unto life.
IMMERSIONS
Kavanah for first immersion: I come to this water with a body that has been changed by a knife and by loss — changed in ways I did not choose and cannot undo. I come today to meet myself as I am now, and to let the water witness what words alone cannot hold. Let me enter as I am. Let me rise as I am — still here, still breathing, still me.
Immerse fully, all hair completely under water, then come up and say:
Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech ha-olam asher kid-shanu b’mitzvo-tav v’tzi-vanu al ha-tevilah.
Blessed are You, Adonai, Ruler of the Universe, Who has sanctified us with mitzvot and commanded us concerning immersion.
Kavanah for second immersion: This body has been opened and closed, emptied and healed. I bless it — not for what it can no longer do, but for bringing me here, alive, whole enough to stand in these waters.
Immerse fully, all hair completely under water, then come up and say:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, רוֹפֵא כָל בָּשָׂר וּמַפְלִיא לַעֲשׂוֹת
Barukh atah Adonay Eloheynu melekh ha-olam, rofeh khol basar u’mafli la’asot.
Blessed are You, Eternal God, who heals all flesh and does wondrous things.
Kavanah for third immersion: I release the children I will not carry. I ask for your blessing on my own life and that of my husband and daughter, which continue. Let this water hold what I cannot: the ones unnamed, unformed, unmet. Let me rise from here whole.
Immerse fully, all hair completely under water, then come up and say:
רָנִּי עֲקָרָה לֹא יָלָדָה, פִּצְחִי רִנָּה וְצַהֲלִי לֹא־חָלָה
Rani akarah lo yaladah, pitzchi rinah v’tzahali lo-chalah.
Sing, O barren one who will no longer bear.
When you have left the water and are wrapped in a towel, say:
God heals the broken-hearted
and binds up their wounds.
God reckons the number of stars,
giving each one its name.
Great is God and full of power
whose wisdom is beyond reckoning.
God gives courage to the lowly
and brings hope to those bereft.
So may God always be with us.
-Based on Psalm 147:2-6
Rabbi greeting you upon entering the room:
May the One who makes peace in the high places bring peace to your heart and your home. You emerged from the water changed and yet whole. May you be gentle with your body, patient with your grief, and comforted among the mourners of Zion.
