Blessing of Euphoria Dysphoria: For the Reclamation of One’s Gendered Self/Selves After The Disclosure of Sexual Abuse

they call 

my condition
i realized my body 
was not mine
spun out of your control
and “joyful
entered a heaven
stumbled into a religion 
not yours
my own!
and after the 
and surrender
i mean 
i have landed 
in the land past
Thee and We
here i am
Adonai Yireh
from this mountain
“i adore
as i shout back to the 
glory of the
which i know now
and back then
did not
for a single moment
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