לְדוֹר וָדוֹר נַגִּיד גָּדְלֶֽךָ – From generation to generation (l’dor vador) we will declare Your greatness/L’dor vador nagid gadlecha
there’s a message in my muscles but the pain is too loud for me to hear
my tissues are tired but i don’t know why
my brain is spiraling, spooling through a cycle of makework, the maker unknown
am i in control?
oh ancestors, oh higher power, oh beings and nothingnesses
please tell me what i need to know
i am here to listen
i’m sorry for taking the wrong medicine, the countless golden calves, the wrong turns taken and the right ones denied
in each step of intention, I lack knowing
in each not-knowing, I lack consciousness
in each unconscious error, the crime of suffering
i pay my penance in search of return
teshuvah for my ways
teshuvah for your stories
teshuvah for the planet
i seek, but without you i find nothing
please find me and keep me
so our connection can heal the generations
from door to door we recount the greatness
but do we feel it
do we see it
do we know it
we suffer and seek an end
but only in the merging of suffering with enlightenment
will we ever find the beginning
