Who do I go to when I lose connections
because of this ongoing conflict?
When friends connect my Jewishness
to occupation thousands of miles away?
Who do I talk to when everyone around me
assumes because of my kippahA small cap, traditionally worn by men, symbolizing humility before God. Although women traditionally covered their heads with a scarf or hat as a sign of modesty, today, some women wear kippot as well.
that I am in support of Israel’s government?
Each day, someone comes up to me,
and wishes IsraelLit. ''the one who struggles with God.'' Israel means many things. It is first used with reference to Jacob, whose name is changed to Israel (Genesis 32:29), the one who struggles with God. Jacob's children, the Jewish people, become B'nai Israel, the children of Israel. The name also refers to the land of Israel and the State of Israel. well, solely because of my kippah.
In a world filled with Antisemitic rhetoric,
and chants worldwide calling for our extinction,
I fear for my life anytime someone approaches to ask
“Excuse me, are you Jewish?”
And now, on a day of joy, in the country of my people,
the land of my faith, and the home of my culture,
we have seen the bloodiest day since the Shoah
For Jews in this crazy world.
I am afraid to wear a kippah, to put on my Star of David,
or to even look or seem a little Jewish,
for fear that someone may retaliate against me,
because they conflate the Israeli government
To all the Jewish people as a whole.
I am afraid, and don’t know how to not be afraid.
I am anxious, and all around me,
I see people who wonder why I am a mess.
So, who do I go to when all around me
seems to crumble and I am left
to fend for myself in a world that would be happy
to see my people and my culture disappear?
Who do I cry to when I am afraid to even
leave the house in the morning to go to work?
Who do I lean on when friends walk away,
or turn to passive antisemitism or outright abuse
because of the actions of a government
I have no say in, no power in, and no connection to?
Where do I go when the world is against my people,
and we are left standing alone once again?
The white and blue flag is like a love letter to me,
and the Red, White, Green and Black strikes fear into my heart.
Not because of the Palestinians whom the colors represent,
but because of the people who wield it around the world,
chanting for the death of my country,
my people; my culture; my friends and family.
Antisemitism is a real and terrifying thing,
and it did not go away when Israel was declared free.
In fact, in many ways, it only increased
and the world has forgotten its promise.
Never again was supposed to really mean
“Never again” but here we are now.
standing on the precipice of what could be
another global genocide of people like me.
I can only pray to the G-d above me who watches
and Protects and creates all her peoples.
But G-d is not tangible; she doesn’t speak with words.
and words are a comfort, even if a small one,
when things go wrong, and when people suffer.
So, who do I go to now?
Who will support me?
Who will protect my life? My faith? My people?
Who will sing to me when I am sad,
and who will fight for me when I am weak?
Who will stand guard at my door when I am afraid,
and who will light the candle when I am gone?
Who will pray for me when I am sick,
and who will joke with me when I am well?
Who will love me when I am lost,
and who will dance with me when I am found?
Who will weep if tragedy strikes me,
and who will remember me when I am buried?
Who will protect my family if I am injured,
and who will care for me when I am lonely?
For everyone, there is a time.
A time to live and a time to pass on.
A time to sing and a time to mourn.
A time to eat and a time to sleep.
A time to suffer and a time to rejoice.
When my times come and when my times go,
Who will be there to hold my hand?
Who will be with me?
