Queer Ketubah

genderqueer couple dressed up and kissing with white flowers in hand

This ketubah was created by Lily Nagy-Deak and Lanni Solochek for our wedding. We looked at many ketubot and Jewish texts in the process of writing this document. We wanted it to reflect our values, our hopes for our marriage, and the agreements we are making to honor and uphold our relationship.

Hebrew is a gendered language, and in order to subvert the traditionally masculine grammar, we used feminine plural (instead of traditional masculine plural as the gender inclusive plural) along wtih Divine Feminine language. As genderqueer individuals, our religious language has often felt inaccessible to our identities, and so this document marks a moment in language, and we hope in the future queer couples have access to language that authentically represents them. 


On this day of great celebration and joy, on the _[Hebrew date]_ which corresponds to _[English date]_, in _[location]_, in the presence of family and friends, the brides _[name]_ and _[name]_ said to each other: “I dedicate myself to you, according to the ever evolving laws of Moses and Israel.”
 
We will cherish, cover, protect, financially sustain, work, nourish, and fulfill each other’s needs with honor according to the ways of Jewish tradition. We will create a home echoing with ancient and new melodies, a home which will be a link to the generations of the Jewish people. We will be devoted to justice, to acts of lovingkindness, and be partners in repairing the world. We will respect each other and the divine image within us. We will love each other always, the people we are and the people we will become. May our love be a blessing for all the world to share.
 
This is a covenant of love and companionship, as Ruth said to Naomi: wherever you go I will go, wherever you lodge I will lodge, your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 
 
This is a covenant of protection and shelter, as the Jewish People bless one another: May God bless you and keep you; May God’s face shine upon you; May God lift God’s face to you and grant you wholeness and peace. 
 
This is a covenant of devotion, like the covenant that David and Jonathan made: And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him like his own soul.
 
In the presence of witnesses, __[name]__ and _[name]_ accepted upon themselves responsibility for this ketubah contract.
 
All this is valid and binding. 

בְּאוֹשֶר רַב שֶל יוֹם חַג, יוֹם ___ בְּשָׁבָּת ______  לבְּרִיאָת הַעוֹלָם לְמִנְיַן שֶׁאָנוּ מוֹנוֹת, כָּאן ________ בִּפְנֵי מִשְׁפָּחָה וְחַבֵרוֹת יְדִידוֹת, הָכַּלוֹת ______________, וְ_______  אָמְרוּ זוֹ לְזוֹ: הַרֵי אֶתקַדֵשׁ לַך כְּדַת משֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל הַמִתחַדֶשֶת וְהַמִתְפַּתַחַת תָמִיד

נוֹקִיר, נְכַסֶה, נָגֵן, נְפַרְנֵס, נַעַבוֹד, נַזִין וּנְסַפֵּק בְּכָּבוֹד אַחַת אֶת הָשְׁנִיָה עַל פִּי הָמָסוֹרֶת הָיְהוּדִית. נְקַיֵים בָּיִת בוֹ יְהַדְהֲדוּ נִיגוּנִים עַתִּיקִים וְחָדָשִׁים, בָּיִת שֶׁיִהיֶה חוּליַה לְדוֹרוֹת עַם יִשְׂרָאֵל. נִהיֶה מוּקְדָשׁוֹת לְצֶדֶק, לְגְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים וְנִהיֶה שׁוּתַפוֹת בְּתִיקוּן הָעוֹלָם. נְכַבֵּד זוֹ אֶת זוֹ וְאֶת צֶלֶם הַאֶלוֹהִים שְׁבְּתוֹכֵינוּ. נֶאֶהַב זוֹ אֶת זוֹ תָמִיד, אֶת מִי שֶאָנַחְנוּ הַיוֹם וְאֶת מִי שֶנִהיֶה בָּעָתִיד לָבוֹא. תִהיֶה אָהֳבְתֵינוּ לִבְרָכָה לְכֹל הַעוֹלם לְחַלוֹק בָּה
 
בְּרִית זוֹ הֵנָה בְּרִית אַהַבָה וְרֵעוּת, כַּאֲשֶׁר אָמְרָה רוּת לְנָעָמִי: כִּי אֶל־אֲשֶׁר תֵּלְכִי אֵלֵךְ וּבַאֲשֶׁר תָּלִינִי אָלִין עַמֵּךְ עַמִּי וֵאלֹהַיִךְ אֱלֹהָי
 
בְּרִית זוֹ הֵנָה בְּרִית שְׁמִירָה וְהַגַנַה, כְּשֵׁם שְעַם יִשְׂרָאֵל מְבָרֶכֶת אַחַת אֶת הָשְׁנִיָיה: תְבָרכֶךְ שַׁדָי וְתִשְׁמְרֶךְ, תָּאֵר שַׁדָי פָּנֵיהָ אֵלָיִךְ וְתִחוּנֶךְ, תִּשָּׂא שַׁדָי פָּנֶיהָ אֵלָיִךְ וְתָשֵׂם לָךְ שָׁלוֹם
 
בְּרִית זוֹ הֵנָה בְּרִית דְבֵיקוּת כּבְרִית דָוִד וְיְהוֹנָתָן שֶׁנֶאֶמָר: וַיִּכְרֹת יְהוֹנָתָן עִם דָוִד בְּרִית בְּאַהֲבָתוֹ אֹתוֹ כְּנַפְשוֹ
 
לִפְנֵי עֵדוֹת, מְקָבְּלוֹת עַל עָצְמַן הָכָּלוֹת, ___________, וְ____________ אַחְרָיוּת שְׁטָר כְּתֻבָּה זוֹ
וְהַכֹּל שָׁרִיר וְקַיָם
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