El rakhum v’hanun, God of compassion and grace. Out of the depths I call to you. Listen to my cry; be attentive to the voice of my supplication.[1] Give me comfort and consolation for the wounds inflicted on me by one whom I called my Teacher [Rabbi/Cantor/Advisor]. Purporting to act in Your Holy Name, he/she/they violated our trust in him/her/them. The harm that they caused is not easily healed, the devastation that they inflicted not quickly forgiven. And yet I continue to seek You. And I am not alone.
As you heard Hannah’s silent supplication, hear the cries of all those who seek You, even as their trust in Your TorahThe Five Books of Moses, and the foundation of all of Jewish life and lore. The Torah is considered the heart and soul of the Jewish people, and study of the Torah is a high mitzvah. The Torah itself a scroll that is hand lettered on parchment, elaborately dressed and decorated, and stored in a decorative ark. It is chanted aloud on Mondays, Thursdays, and Shabbat, according to a yearly cycle. Sometimes "Torah" is used as a colloquial term for Jewish learning and narrative in general. has been betrayed. Hear the whispered prayers of those made to feel unsafe in Your sanctuaries, of those who recoil at the sight of your purported emissary. Wrap them up in the wings of Your Love, give them shelter wherever they seek solace.
I know that these wounds may never fully heal, but I pray that we may both find comfort in the arms of those carrying out Your will in goodness, honesty, kindness, and truth. Turn my pain into empathy for all those who suffer, transform my suffering into appreciation for all those who provide healing. May I once again find joy in Your prayer-houses and seek You in Your sanctuaries. As the psalmist wrote: “I only yearn to dwell in Your house, to gaze upon Your beauty, to safely visit Your Sanctuary. Shelter me in Your sukkahLit. hut or booth A temporary hut constructed outdoors for use during Sukkot, the autumn harvest festival. Many Jews observe the mitzvah of living in the Sukkah for the week of Sukkot, including taking their meals and sleeping in the Sukkah., protect me in Your own tent.”[2]
Hashiveni Adonai Eilekha V’Ashuva. Help me to return to You, and I will return.[3] Because I know that just as I need Your comfort, You need mine.[4] Let us find healing together.
[1] Psalm 130:1-2
[2] Psalm 27: 4-5
[3] See Lamentations 5:21
[4] Jeremiah 8:27 (“Because my people is shattered I am shattered; I am dejected, seized by desolation.“)
