Preserve the memory of your loved one with a plaque on our Yahrzeit Wall. Learn More ->

Search
Close this search box.

I Promised My Rabbi

My first morning word
would be thanks   modah ani
for soul and breath    lifanekha ruakh
 
but there’s a glitch.
Sparrows have been cavorting
since 4 am, parceling the sky,
 
proclaiming territories,
so my language is tangled
with their songs.
 
Also, my murmurs are threaded
with half-finished dream
journey. Honey, wait, I shout
 
into the murky dawn,
where it’s hard to behold
God’s face or anything else.
 
I’ve been given
visions of strange cities, hallways,
doors that swing open
 
to rooms void of families,
of images. This year of loss.
Every night the same dream
 
is sent, a blank canvas
I have no energy to paint on.
Still, I’m here   sh’hekhezarta bi
 
which merits
every bit of grace
I can breathe in
 
then return
nishmati b’khemla,
raba emunatekha.

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Join author Evonne Marzouk to find ways to strengthen your experience as a spiritual being, expand your consciousness and deepen your ability to be present. Through study and creative writing, you’ll take away new strategies to use in daily life. 

Hope you’ll join us!

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network