Preserve the memory of your loved one with a plaque on our Yahrzeit Wall. Learn More ->

Search
Close this search box.

A Blessing for a First Sexual Experience

two people holding hands at sunset

Judaism prescribes myriad daily blessings designed to make us aware of our human existence. A Jew may utter 100 blessings a day for acts ranging from eating to using the bathroom. Yet, nowhere in the tradition is there a blessing for making love, or even for one’s first sexual encounter. The blessing read under the wedding canopy may have served, at one time, to bless that encounter, but for many Jews today that is no longer the case.

While the idea of invoking the divine at such a moment may seem awkward to some, others might find an appropriate blessing enormously useful in connecting a sense of holiness to an act of intimacy. First sexual encounters are experienced differently by many young men and women. Some girls or young women may feel coerced or otherwise unready; boys or young men may similarly feel social or cultural pressures to have sexual experiences before they are in the right relationship at the right time. For others, first sex is a joyous, liberating experience, one they might wish to celebrate ritually.

What if Jewish parents taught their children that love-making is a holy act, that the first time is a holy moment, one worthy of uttering the “She-heheyanu” blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמָן הַזֶּה

Barukh Atah Adonay Elohaynu Melekh ha-Olam shehekheyanu v’kiyimanu v’higianu laz’man hazeh
Or
בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָהּ אֱלֹהֵינוּ רוּחַ הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהֶחֱיָתְנוּ וְקִיְּמָתְנוּ וְהִגִּיעָתְנוּ לַזְּמָן הַזֶּה

B’rukha At Ya Eloheynu Ruakh ha-Olam shehekheyatnu v’kiy’matnu v’higiatnu laz’man hazeh.

Blessed are You, Eternal God, Source of Life, who has kept us in life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this joyous moment.

Imbued with the idea that sex belongs in a sacred context, young women and men might feel more empowered about their choices in sexual interaction. They might not place themselves in sexually compromising positions, or they might choose to forego sex entirely until they can share an experience that is, in fact, sacred.

Used by permission of the author

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Rituals

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Join author Evonne Marzouk to find ways to strengthen your experience as a spiritual being, expand your consciousness and deepen your ability to be present. Through study and creative writing, you’ll take away new strategies to use in daily life. 

Hope you’ll join us!

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network