After burial, and during the shivaSeven-day mourning period following the funeral of a first-degree relative, during which time family members remain at home and receive visits of comfort. Other customs include abstinence from bathing and sex, covering mirrors, sitting lower than other visitors, and the lighting of a special memorial candle which burns for seven days. period, the customary way our tradition offers for greeting mourners is with the words:
המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושליםhaMakom y’nakhem etkhem b’tokh sha’ar avlei tzion v’yerushalaimMay God comfort you among the mourners of Tzion and JerusalemLit. City of peace From the time of David to the Roman destruction, Jerusalem was the capital of Israel and the spiritual and governmental center of the Jewish people. During the long exile, Jews longed to return to Jerusalem and wrote poems, prayers, and songs about the beloved city. In 1967, with the capture of the Old City, Jerusalem was reunited, becoming "the eternal capital of Israel." Still, the longing for peace is unfulfilled.
In this formula, the phrase “btoch sha’ar avlei tzion v’yerushalayim” functions to tie us together through time and space with our people who have also experienced loss, destruction, and grief. So much of our grief and mourning practices do this–sets us down in liturgies and phrases that help us to remind ourselves and to be reminded that, even in grief and mourning, we are not alone.
And. For some, this phrasing does not work, and we seek alternative ways to greet mourners, alternative ways that we may be greeted when we are in mourning that, like with innovations we make with the PassoverPassover is a major Jewish holiday that commemorates the Jewish people's liberation from slavery and Exodus from Egypt. Its Hebrew name is Pesakh. Its name derives from the tenth plague, in which God "passed over" the homes of the Jewish firstborn, slaying only the Egyptian firstborn. Passover is celebrated for a week, and many diaspora Jews celebrate for eight days. The holiday begins at home at a seder meal and ritual the first (and sometimes second) night. Jews tell the story of the Exodus using a text called the haggadah, and eat specific food (matzah, maror, haroset, etc). SederLit. Order. The festive meal conducted on Passover night, in a specific order with specific rituals to symbolize aspects of the Exodus from Egypt. It is conducted following the haggadah, a book for this purpose. The mystics of Sefat also created a seder for Tu B'shvat, the new year of the trees., do not orient us first towards Tzion and Jerusalem, but instead orients us towards each other.
This offering seeks to meet that need, drawing both from the traditional greeting here, and from a line in P’sukei d’Zimrah — הרופא לשבורי לב ומחבש לעצבותם — (Praise) The Healer of the broken-hearted, and the one who bandages their bones (Ps 146).
המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר שבורי הלבhaMakom y’nakhem etkhem b’tokh sha’ar sh’vurei halevMay God comfort you among the brokenhearted
