Sovereign of Compassion,
I am about to recite KaddishThe Aramaic memorial prayer for the dead. Mourners recite this prayer at every service, every day, in the presence of a minyan (prayer quorum) over the course of a year (for a parent) or thirty days (for a sibling or offspring). The prayer actually makes no mention of the dead, but rather prays for the sanctification and magnification of God's name., to praise Your great and exalted Name, on behalf of my dear loved one ____________, who died by suicide and has gone to their eternal home.
I am about to say that You are above all expressions of comfort, yet comfort feels fleeting.
I am about to call You the Maker of Peace, yet I have struggled to find any peace at all.
My mouth, so often silent in shame, fills with unanswerable questions.
My mind, so often overcome with guilt and regret, fills also with memories of their love, of their kindness.
My heart, so often rent with pain, strains to reach toward You, toward them, toward the community which surrounds me, aware or unaware of my grief.
The memory of my dear __________ is far greater than the way they died.
May I honor that memory through acts of charity, acts of loving-kindness, acts inspired by hope.
May my giving voice to their silence help me to find healing in my mourning.
May their spirit be bound up in the bonds of eternal life.
Amen.
