Background information
As the central ritual of this ceremony, the mother tosses a sweet-smelling flower into a body of running water. Tossing the flower in the water was, for me, my final breaking with nursing. It was as if I tossed my milk into the stream, and then I could move on.
Within the ceremony, I suggest a place where a husband or partner may be formally included. For myself, I chose to perform the ceremony with two women friends, one of whom was marking the weaning of her own child. We invited neither husbands nor children. We performed the ceremony on the bridge where, on Rosh HashanahThe Jewish New Year, also considered the Day of Judgment. The period of the High Holidays is a time of introspection and atonement. The holiday is celebrated with the sounding of the shofar, lengthy prayers in synagogue, the eating of apples and honey, and round challah for a sweet and whole year. Tashlikh, casting bread on the water to symbolize the washing away of sins, also takes place on Rosh Hashana., we perform tashlichCasting bread upon the water. On Rosh Hashana, Jews traditionally walk to a natural body of water into which they throw breadcrumbs, symbolic of their sins from the previous year., and afterwards we celebrated with apricots and cupcakes.
I wrote the ceremony in Hebrew, but I provide translations and I think it works well in either language. This version contains only transliterations. For the full Hebrew text, please download the PDF version.
The ceremony
A poem (for the mother to recite):
[Child’s name], my sweet boy/my sweet girl,
My breasts are filled with milk
And several days yet they will be full.
I will carry the weight that you will not drink.
My sweet child,
My heart is filled with love
And it will always be full.
I will carry the weight.
You will not see it
But from it you will grow.
שֶׁלִּי יֶלֶד מָתוֹק שֶׁלִּי שֵׁדַי מְלֵאִים חָלָב וְעוֹד כַּמָּה יָמִים יִהְיוּ מְלֵאִים אֲנִי אַחְזִיק אֶתְ הַכְּבֵדוּת שֶׁאַתָּה לֹא תִּשְׁתֶּה יֶלֶד שֶׁלִּי לִבִּי מָלֵא אָהֲבָה וּלְעוֹלָם יִהְיֶה___
מָלֵא אָנִי אַחְזִיק אֶתְ הַכְּבֵדוּת אַתָּה לֹא תַּכִּיר אוֹתָהּ אַךְ מִמֶּנָּה תִּגְדָּל
For a boy:
[Ploni] sheli, yeled matok sheli
Shadai m’layim khalav
v’od kamah yamim y’hiyu m’layim
Ani akhzik et hakhvaydut
she’atah lo tishteh
yeled sheli,
libi malay ahavah
ul’olam y’hiyeh malay
ani akhzik et hakhvaydut
atah lo takir otah
akh mimenah tigdal
For a girl:
שֶׁלִּי יַלְדָּה מְתוּקָה שֶׁלִּי שֵׁדַי מְלֵאִים חָלָב וְעוֹד כַּמָּה יָמִים יִהְיוּ מְלֵאִים אֲנִי אַחְזִיק אֶתְ הַכְּבֵדוּת שֶׁאַתְּ לֹא תִּשְׁתִּי יַלְדָּה שֶׁלִּי לִבִּי מָלֵא אָהֲבָה וּלְעוֹלָם יִהְיֶה מָלֵא אָנִי אַחְזִיק אֶתְ הַכְּבֵדוּת אַתְּ לֹא תַּכִּירִי אוֹתָהּ אַךְ מִמֶּנָּה תִּגְדְּלִי
[plonit] sheli, yaldah m’tukah sheli
Shadai m’layim khalav
v’od kamah yamim y’hiyu m’layim
Ani akhzik et hakhvaydut
she’at lo tishti
yaldah sheli,
libi malay ahavah
ul’olam y’hiyeh malay
ani akhzik et hakhvaydut
at lo takiri otah
akh mimenah tigd’li
A verse (for the mother’s partner or a friend to recite) Isaiah 66:13:
As a man’s mother comforts him, so God will comfort you and in JerusalemLit. City of peace From the time of David to the Roman destruction, Jerusalem was the capital of Israel and the spiritual and governmental center of the Jewish people. During the long exile, Jews longed to return to Jerusalem and wrote poems, prayers, and songs about the beloved city. In 1967, with the capture of the Old City, Jerusalem was reunited, becoming "the eternal capital of Israel." Still, the longing for peace is unfulfilled. you will be comforted.
כְּאִישׁ, אֲשֶׁר אִמּוֹ תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ–כֵּן אָנֹכִי אֲנַחֶמְכֶם, וּבִירוּשָׁלִַם תְּנֻחָמוּ
K’ish asher imo t’nakhamenu kayn anokhi anakhemkhem uviyrushalayim t’nukhamu
The mother recites the traditional blessing for sweet-smelling plants:
Blessed are You, our God, Sovereign of the world, who creates fragrant plants.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם בּוֹרֵא מִינֵי בְשָׂמִים
Barukh Atah Adona-i E-lohaynu Melekh ha’olam, Boray isvay b’samim.
After reciting the blessing, the mother smells a flower, then tosses the flower into a body of running water. She or a friend recites the following prayers:
Blessed are You, God, well spring of life. You created the land and the seas. In ancient times You fashioned man, and you fashioned EveEve, according to the book of Genesis, is Adam's wife, the first woman to be created., mother of all life. You commanded: Be fruitful and multiply and fill the land. Blessed are You, Creator of AdamAdam is the first human being created by God. Symbolizes: Creation, humankind. and Eve.
בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָהּ עֵין הַחַיִּים אַתְּ בָּרָאת אֶת הָאָרֶץ וְאֶת הַיַּמִּים. אַתְּ יָצַרְתְּ אֶת הָאָדָם וְאֶת חָוָה אֵם כֹּל חַי וְצִוִּית פְּרוּ וּרְבוּ וּמִלְאוּ אֶת הָאָרֶץ. בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יוֹצֶרֶת אָדָם וְחָוָה
Brukhah at Y-ah, ayn hakhayim. At barat et ha’aretz v’et hayamim. At ya’tsart et ha’adam v’et Khavah aym kol khai, v’tsivit p’ru urvu umilu et ha’aretz. Bruchah at, yotseret Adam v’Khavah.
You protect the fetus in the womb, and You bring him out amidst birth blood and breathe in his nostrils the soul of life. You protect the newborn from harm and disease. You nurture her from her mother’s milk, and You protect the mother and the father. Blessed are You, God, who protects the newborn and her parents.
אַתְּ שׁוֹמֶרֶת עֻבָּר בְּרֶחֶם וּמוֹצִיאַתוֹ בְּתוֹךְ דְּמֵי לְיָדָהּ וְנֻפַּחְתְּ בְּאַפָּיו נִשְׁמַת חַיִּים. אַתְּ שׁוֹמֶרֶת אֶת הָרַךְ מִנֶּגַע וּמָחֲלָה וְאַתְּ מַשְׁקָה אוֹתוֹ מֵחָלָב אִמּוֹ וְאַתְּ שׁוֹמֶרֶת אֶת הָאֵם וְאֶת הָאָב. בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָהּ שׁוֹמֶרֶת אֶת הָרַךְ וְאֶת הוֹרָיו
At shomeret ubar b’rekhem umotsiyato b’tokh d’may laydah v’nofakhat b’apav nishmat khayim. At shomeret et harakh minega umakhalah, v’at mashkah oto maykhalav imo v’at shomeret et ha’aym v’et ha’av. B’rukhah at Y-ah, shomeret et harakh v’et horav.
A verse (for the mother’s partner or a friend to recite) Genesis 21:8:
And the boy grew and he was weaned and AbrahamAbraham is the first patriarch and the father of the Jewish people. He is the husband of Sarah and the father of Isaac and Ishmael. God's covenant - that we will be a great people and inherit the land of Israel - begins with Abraham and is marked by his circumcision, the first in Jewish history. His Hebrew name is Avraham. made a big party on the day that IsaacAbraham and Sarah's much-longed-for son and the second Jewish patriarch. Isaac is nearly sacrificed by his father at God's command (Genesis 22). He is married to Rebecca and is the father of Esau and Jacob. His Hebrew name is Yitzchak. was weaned.
וַיִּגְדַּל הַיֶּלֶד, וַיִּגָּמַל; וַיַּעַשׂ אַבְרָהָם מִשְׁתֶּה גָדוֹל, בְּיוֹם הִגָּמֵל אֶת-יִצְחָק
Vayigdal hayeled vayigamal vaya’as Avraham mishteh gadol b’yom higamayl et Yitskhak.
A rabbi or friend offers the mother the following blessing, a variation on the mishebayrakh traditionally recited for a birth. The mother should make a silent promise to give some amount to charity.
The one who blessed our mothers SarahThe first matriarch, wife of Abraham, and mother of Isaac, whom she birthed at the age of 90. Sarah, in Rabbinic tradition, is considered holy, beautiful, and hospitable. Many prayers, particularly the Amidah (the central silent prayer), refer to God as Magen Avraham – protector of Abraham. Many Jews now add: pokehd or ezrat Sarah – guardian or helper of Sarah., RebeccaThe second Jewish matriarch, Isaac's wife, and mother to Jacob and Esau. Rebecca is an active parent, talking to God when she is pregnant and learning the fate of her children, then ultimately manipulating Isaac and the children to ensure Jacob's ascendancy. Her Hebrew name is Rivka., RachelLavan's younger daughter and Jacob's beloved wife second wife (after he is initially tricked into marrying her older sister, Leah). Rachel grieves throughout her life that she is barren while Leah is so fertile. Ultimately, Rachel gives birth to Joseph and dies in childbirth with Benjamin. Rachel is remembered as compassionate (she is said to still weep for her children), and infertile women often invoke Rachel as a kind of intercessor and visit her tomb on the road to Bethlehem. and LeahThe third of the Jewish matriarchs, Lead is the eldest of Lavan's daughters and one of the wives of Jacob. She is the daughter whom Lavan tricks Jacob into marrying instead of his younger daughter Rachel, whom Jacob has requested to marry. Leah is mother to six of the the twelve tribes and to one daughter, Dinah., will bless [mother’s name] and her son/daughter who is weaned, [child’s name], because the mother will give to charity. For this may she merit to raise him/her to TorahThe Five Books of Moses, and the foundation of all of Jewish life and lore. The Torah is considered the heart and soul of the Jewish people, and study of the Torah is a high mitzvah. The Torah itself a scroll that is hand lettered on parchment, elaborately dressed and decorated, and stored in a decorative ark. It is chanted aloud on Mondays, Thursdays, and Shabbat, according to a yearly cycle. Sometimes "Torah" is used as a colloquial term for Jewish learning and narrative in general., khupah and good deeds. And let us say Amen.
מִי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אִמוֹתֵינוּ שָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה הוּא יְבָרֵךְ אֶת {פְּלוֹנִית} וְאֶת בְּנֵה בְּנָהּ בִּתָּהּ הֲנִגְמַל נִגְמֶלֶת {פְּלוֹנִי} בַּעֲבוּר שֶׁנּוֹדֶרֶת צְדָקָה. בִּשְׂכַר זֶה תִגְדְלוֹ תְּגַדְּלָהּ לְתוֹרָה לְחֻפַּה וְלַמַּעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים וְנֹאמַר אָמֵן
Mi she’bayrakh imotaynu Sarah, Rivkah, Rakhel v’Layah, hu y’varaykh et [plonit] v’et b’nah/bitah hanigmal/nigmelet [ploni], b’avur shenoderet ts’dakah. B’skhar zeh tigd’lo/tigd’lah l’torah, l’khupah ul’ma’asim tovim. V’nomar Amen.
Amen.
MazelGood fortune, luck, and the Hebrew sign of the Zodiac. Tov!
