Preserve the memory of your loved one with a plaque on our Yahrzeit Wall. Learn More ->

Search
Close this search box.

The Return of Modeh Ani: How Daily Gratitude Helped Me Heal

bed and nightstand in bright room

One of the first prayers little Jewish boys and girls often learn is Modeh Ani – a prayer said each morning to thank G-d for returning your soul to your body. As a child I recall being proud to have learned my first prayer. But, the idea of having your breath or soul returned to you is a very amorphous concept, wrapped in morbidity (what if your breath is not returned to you?); ironically, thankfully, nearly impossible for most children to truly appreciate.

By the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had long abandoned this daily prayer. But then came my double mastectomy and a longer and tougher-than-anticipated recovery. I woke up most mornings with a painful migraine and hot tears streaming down my face. Despite a positive prognosis and attitude, I was still struggling.

Thankfully, I eventually realized two things: 1) As tough as my situation was, I was alive and 2) articulating any measure of gratitude would be more self-serving than feeling sorry for myself. And so, instead of waking up to hot tears, I started saying Modeh Ani again. Whether in Hebrew or a simple “Thank you, Lord for giving me another day,” this prayer of my childhood now had real meaning, with gratitude for waking up a soul returned to my body, and the opportunity to live to fight another day.

 

Facebook
Email

Ritualwell content is available for free thanks to the generous support of readers like you! Please help us continue to offer meaningful content with a donation today. 

Related Rituals

The Reconstructionist Network

Serving as central organization of the Reconstructionist movement

Training the next generation of groundbreaking rabbis

Modeling respectful conversations on pressing Jewish issues

Curating original, Jewish rituals, and convening Jewish creatives

Join author Evonne Marzouk to find ways to strengthen your experience as a spiritual being, expand your consciousness and deepen your ability to be present. Through study and creative writing, you’ll take away new strategies to use in daily life. 

Hope you’ll join us!

Get the latest from Ritualwell

Subscribe for the latest rituals, online learning opportunities, and unique Judaica finds from our store.

The Reconstructionist Network