The Four Questions set the stage for maggid, the telling of our story. We learned to sing the mah nishtanah as kids, or as new converts to Judaism. It’s one of the main pieces anyone can tell you about the Passover seder.
But for those of us sitting there waiting to see if we’re pregnant, waiting for our next procedure, or bearing the heartbreak of it not happening again – this can be one of the most agonizing parts of the seder. We watch other people’s children sing the song and ask the questions, wondering if we’ll ever get to teach our own children this.
Tonight, we ask new questions. Questions that open space for our own experiences of waiting, longing, and hope.
Why Is This Night Different from All Other Seder Nights?
At all other seders, we celebrate the miracle of liberation.
Tonight we also hold on to the hope for the miracle we’re still waiting for.
At all other seders, we tell the story of leaving Egypt.
Tonight we also honor our own story of living through our own narrow places – the treatments, the losses, the months that didn’t work.
At all other seders, we dip herbs in salt water to remember our ancestors’ tears.
Tonight we also taste our own tears – shed in doctor’s offices, after negative tests, in the quiet moments when hope feels too heavy to carry.
At all other seders, we recline as free people.
Tonight we also acknowledge the ways infertility holds us captive – to schedules, to protocols, to uncertainty we cannot control. We hold this all and await the freedom of letting this go when we hold our dear child in our arms.
This reading is part of Southern Mikveh’s “From the Narrow Place to Hope: A Haggadah Supplement for Fertility Journeys.” Click here to learn more.
