Panim El Panim: A Prayer for Leaving an Abusive Relationship and Coming Face to Face with Yourself

I can see you up close and from miles away.
Through dozens of near ones and even perfect strangers
But ever the same stern pair of eyes.

And you look at me.  
And tug at me.
And manipulate me.
And each time, I reveal your guise.
 
I have pretended 
I did not know.
But I have always.
In fact, known. 

 
Today, I made it past your altar.
Shielded myself from your gaze.
And stumbled into the divine wilderness of the unseen.
 
In this Holy of Holies, 
G-d and I.
Come
At last
To meet. 
 
פנים אל פנים
 
For the first time.
Face to face. 

 

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