I wrote this several years ago during my first professional assignment as a cantorial soloist, primarily to calm down my jittery nerves about the whole experience. It has since been used at several synagogues as an adjunct and/or alternate to the traditional Hazzan's "Hineni."
My head is spinning now
My heart is trembling too
I stand here naked in my soul
So I can fill myself, fill myself up with You
My hands are shaking, God
I must look like a mess
I stand here wondering just how
I can bring to You, bring to You my best
'Cause my best has been on holiday
I've fallen short and been short-tempered
Why must I be the one to ask on their behalf
For a better path, when I can't find my own
I feel so small right now
And maybe that's a start
But how can I know You'll hear me
When right now it feels like we're so far apart
Oh God be with me now
And with everyone who's here
Help us stand with our flaws and regrets
And make amends together for this brand new year
From the album, A Sliver in the Sky. Copyright 2014, Beth Hamon.
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