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How to Create Bris Dam Doros/Covenantal Ritual with the Blood of Parent

baby hand holding adult finger
BiSiyata DiShmaya
With the help of the cosmos 
by R’ Jericho Vincent
Shevat 5785/February 2025
 
Mazal tov on the birth of your child! A bris is a ritual in which we activate a sacred covenant—in this case between a new human // their people and Great Spirit. In this ceremony, the child traditionally also receives their tribal name. 
 
Bris Dam Doros means a Covenant with the Blood of Generations. In this form of bris, blood is spilled to seal the covenant—but not the blood of the child, but rather the blood of the parent/s, bringing in the power of blood while bringing healing to the generational rift and spiritual wound caused by genital circumcision.
 
To conduct this ritual, gather loved ones together, ideally a minimum of ten adults. Being witnessed and held in community intensifies the ritual experience. It is also possible, if necessary, to adapt this ritual for as few people as available, including simply the parent/s and child.
 
Before gathering, designate a sacred facilitator. This can be the child’s parent, but it can be powerful to have this role fulled by a ritual leader or a rabbi instead, to allow the parents to fully immerse in the ceremony. (No specialized training is required for this role.) 
 
If loved ones will participate, before gathering designate a K’vater and a Sandek. These people assume a role similar to godparents, and should be beloved elders or friends— people who you want to be spiritually intertwined in your child’s life. It’s a great honor to be chosen as K’vater or Sandek. It is believed that the qualities of the K’vater and Sandek are transmitted to the child in this ritual. The K’vater and Sandek might wish to immerse in water the morning of this ceremony. Some who are honored with this role have a custom to fast before the ceremony. 
 
You will need a tallit, a lancet to safely pierce the parent/s skin, a cup of grape juice or wine, and any other materials you want to use. It can deepen the experience to serve food after the ritual is complete. 
 
GATHER 
 
Adults gather in a circle while the K’vater holds the baby wrapped in a tallis outside of the circle. Buying a special tallis for the bris is a great gift for your child—they can use this same tallit at their Be Mitzvah or wedding or other lifecycle moments, weaving each new milestone into this first milestone of their birth. 
 
A cup of grape juice or wine is placed in easy reach of the sacred facilitator. 
 
WELCOME 
  • The sacred facilitator welcomes everyone to this ceremony, explaining that this is a bris, a covenant ceremony, weaving this new child into their ancestral lineage. A bris is an affirmation of identity and it also creates a shift in the spirit world, altering the child’s relationship to their history, the world, and the cosmos itself, so that the blessings of their ancestors and of the universe since the dawn of time can flow through this one precious child. 
  • The sacred facilitator explains that as part of this ceremony, the child will receive their tribal name: a Hebrew name that includes their parents’ name. A tribal name anchors the child’s identity and is believed to be the address for this child in the spiritual world, the avenue by which Great Spirit and the ancestors locate a person and support them. 
  • The sacred facilitator  introduces the K’vater, standing outside the circle, who will later carry the baby into the ritual, and the Sandek, standing with the circle, who will later hold the baby during the ritual. 
  • The sacred facilitator explains that the group will open a portal of spiritual energy to enable the bris to happen. They might ask each person to introduce themselves and set an intention for the ceremony. 
OPENING THE PORTAL 
 
This is a good moment to insert a song of grounding and welcome to prepare for the baby, such as Baruch Habah b’shem Hashem beirachnuchem m’bays Hashem/Welcome in the name of Great Spirit, may you be blessed in the house of Great Spirit, or any spiritual or community song that resonates. (Click the hyperlinked words for a Spotify link.)

The sacred facilitator then calls in the Divine, saying something like: “Great Spirit/Goddess/Sacred Witness (or whatever name for Higher Power resonates), we stand before you on this (insert Hebrew date–you can google to find it), in (insert where you are–this can be a good moment for a land acknowledgement) to welcome a new child into the covenant.” 

The sacred facilitator  invites everyone present to offer an ancestral blessing they’ve received, some quality handed down to them, that they want to offer to the circle, to charge it up, so that when the baby enters the circle, they will be bathed in these blessings.
 
Additional rituals, such as burning sacred incense, may also be included at this stage. 
 
CALLING IN 
 
The sacred facilitator calls in the Sandek by their tribal name, if they have one: 
Ya’amod! I call in! [Hebrew/Yiddish name or English name if they don’t have one] from the house of [Hebrew/Yiddish name or English name if they don’t have one of their two parents] 
The Sandek stands in the middle of the circle. 
 
The sacred facilitator prepares everyone to chant—in a whisper—words of welcome when they call the K’vatter to bring the baby in, until the moment the baby is in the Sandek’s hands. That whisper chant can be in Hebrew “Baruch Haba” or it can be in English “welcome.” 

As everyone whisper chants again and again, the sacred facilitator calls in the K’vater by their tribal name, if they have one: 

Ya’amod! I call in! [Hebrew/Yiddish name or English name if they don’t have one] from the house of [Hebrew/Yiddish name or English name if they don’t have one of their two parents] 

Upon being called, the K’vater ceremoniously carries the baby, wrapped in its tallis, towards and then into the circle, passing the baby to the Sandek who stands in the middle of the circle. 

The whisper chant falls silent. 
The K’vater joins the circle. 
The sacred facilitator helps the parents recite: 
Brukha At Yah, 
I submit to You, Great Spirit (or Goddess or whatever name resonates)
Elotenu Ruach Ha’olam
Our power, spirit of the world, 
Asher kidshatnu bi’mitzvoteha 
Who sanctifies us with Her instructions, 
vi’tzivatnu
and instructs us
Lihachnisem bivrisem shel Sara Imanu v’Avraham Avinu
To bring into the covenant of our mother Sarah and our father Abraham 
 
The sacred facilitator asks the parent/s:
Will we cut your child to seal their entrance into the covenant? 
 
The parent/s respond: 
No. We submit to the instruction of Great Spirit:
Umaltem as orlas livavchem, we circumcise the foreskin of our hearts
We remove indifference, we cut open calloused ritual, we peel away obstruction.
V’haishiv laiv avos al banim, v’laiv banim al avosem
We return the hearts of the parents to the children, and the hearts of the children to their parents.
We offer our bodies in the place of the body of our child.
We seal our child’s entrance into the covenant with our blood, from which their blood is made, our blood, which contains the ancestors blood, our blood, the fluid of life.
 
The sacred facilitator pricks the left thumb of each parent with the lancet. Each parent places the droplet of blood on their child’s heart and recites:
Vahakimoti et-beriti beini uveinecha uvein zar‘acha acharecha ledorotam livrit olam lihyot lecha le’lohim ulezar‘acha acharecha.
And Great Spirit (or whatever name resonates) establishes their covenant between you and between your children and between the descendants that follow for generations, an eternal covenant, to be for you a source of power, and for your children after you. 
 
The sacred facilitator recites to the child:
Olamcha tir’eh bechayecha, ve’acharit’cha lechayei ha’olam haba, vetikvat’cha ledor dorim. Olamcha tir’eh bechayecha. 
May you see the good in your world in your lifetime, may your destiny be for worlds that are emerging, may you trust in generations past and generations yet to be. May you see the good in your world in your lifetime. 
 
The sacred facilitator asks the parent/s if they have any blessings they want to bestow upon their child. The parent/s offer their blessings. Everyone says Amen!
 
The sacred facilitator takes the cup of grape juice or wine and lifts it, reciting: 
Barukh Ata Yah Eloteniu Ruach HaOlam Borei Pri Hagafen 
A fountain of blessing are you, Goddess, Great Spirit, who creates the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are you, Goddess, guiding spirit of the universe, who sanctifies your beloved from the womb, and has placed your imperatives in their body, and has marked this child with the holy covenant. For the merit of this covenant, living Goddess, our Portion, our Rock, protect this beloved child from misfortune, for the sake of this covenant that You have placed in our hearts. Blessed are you, Goddess, who establishes the covenant.
Our Goddess and Goddess of our ancestors, sustain this child for their father and mother (adjust as needed: mother and mother/father and father/parent). and may their name amongst their people be called: [Insert the child’s tribal name: Hebrew name from the house of parent’s Hebrew name, or English if they don’t have one, and, if there is a second parent, their Hebrew name, or English if they don’t have one.]
 
It is written: you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 
It is written: Goddess remembers the covenant forever, the imperative for a thousand generations. God made it with Sara and Abraham, and promised it to Isaac and Rebecca, and made it a law for Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, Zilpah, and Jacob, and an eternal. covenant for Israel.
Give thanks to Goddess for Goddess’s goodness—God’s love is forever!
[Insert child’s tribal name], this little child, may they become great. Just as they have entered into the covenant, so may they enter into Torah, the wedding canopy, and deeds of lovingkindness.
Everyone says Amen! Sacred facilitator drinks some of the grape juice or wine to seal the blessing. 
The sacred facilitator then closes the portal and the ceremony by inviting everyone to touch someone who is touching someone who is touching the child, and to let their hearts fill with love for the child, and send that love through everyone’s bodies to the child as they recite responsively after the sacred facilitator: 

[Insert Child’s tribal name]

May Goddess bless you and protect you 
May Goddess shine Their attention on you and offer you grace 
May Goddess radiance exalt you 
May you be granted wholeness and peace
Mazal tov! (applause) 
 
Everyone celebrates together. 

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