I love my kippot,
crotcheted lovingly by my wife,
some with favorite sayings from traditional Judaism,
such as “Justice, justice shall you pursue,” or
“Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly.”
One has the beginning of a prayer I created,
with the help of my rabbi at the time,
“Blessed be the Shekhinah, the spirit connecting all the worlds.”
And one is an Eagles kippah that quotes Exodus,
“He raised us on Eagles wings.”
I wore kippot in services
and other appropriate times.
I did not wear it in my personal life.
I did not want my clothing to scream, ”Jew!”
Then on August 11th-12th, 2017,
at a “Unite the Right” rally,
in Charlottesville, Virginia,
white supremacists described by the president as “good people,”
chanted “Jews will not replace us,”
and they murdered a counter-protester.
Then on October 27th, 2018
D’or Hadash.
Tree of Life.
Or L’Simcha.
12 dead, murdered
by someone who thought we were trying to replace white people.
White supremacists.
White nationalists.
Christian nationalists.
A president proudly proclaiming he is a nationalist.
November 2nd, 2018.
My kippah went on my head almost by its own volition.
It only comes off when I sleep.
It goes back on when I dress.
At the time I was not wearing it for religious reasons.
From a bald, pale skin, blue-eyed Jew, it was a f**k you to
the supremacists,
the nationalists,
the president.
It took two weeks for an amazing transformation.
I still am not wearing it to show respect to God.
I wear it because I feel good affirming my Jewishness,
my membership in am Yisrael.
A declaration that am Yisrael chai.
I feel good not passing as white for the first time.
My kippah has become comfortable,
like a part of my body.
As I write this, it is almost 8 years since I started wearing a kippah daily.
I love my kippot.
