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Home » Blog » Yom Kippur Cemetery/Grave Measuring and Soul Candle Making: A Ritual Guide

Yom Kippur Cemetery/Grave Measuring and Soul Candle Making: A Ritual Guide

a masked person sits in a chair and holds one end of a bunch of wick, the other end extends toward the side and passes in front of another seated masked person
 
 
In many Eastern European Jewish communities in the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, women would gather to make soul candles or neshome likht. The tekhines or Yiddish prayers recited when making these candles called on the dead to help the living on the Day of Atonement by advocating with God for their loved ones. The Soul Candle would then be gifted to the synagogue and lit on the eve of Yom Kippur. In some places, a second candle for the living was made, accompanied by prayers that wished good things for each living relative and loved one. These candles were huge, designed to burn for the full 25-hour festival. Today, when we no longer rely on candlelight to light the synagogue, many people choose to make several smaller candles.  
 
In many places, the wick for the soul candle was made from a thread that had been used to encircle or “measure” the local cemetery. The wick for the “living candle” was made either from a second cemetery measurement, or by measuring the height of each living member of the family. This guide will talk you through these measurements, as well as an alternative using objects rather than the cemetery. It then offers a template for writing your own tekhines or prayers for making the candles.  
 
The “measurements” – acts of encircling either the cemetery, your family and friends, or objects connected to ancestors and loved ones – are conducted in the month of Elul, most commonly in the last week leading up to Rosh Hashanah. They were traditionally conducted on a Monday or Thursday, days when the Torah is read in synagogue, which were also observed as fast days by very pious Jews.  
 
 
During the month of Elul: the thread for the Soul Candle  
 
 
Measuring the cemetery:  
 
Cemetery measurements require at least two people. Begin at the entrance to the cemetery, or, if there is no clear entrance, at any point on the edge of the graveyard. One person stands at the entrance, holding the end of the ball of thread, while the other one walks clockwise around the perimeter of the cemetery, unrolling the thread and placing it on the ground or the fence. If you have multiple people taking part, you can ask others to stop along the way and hold the thread to keep it in place. Once the person walking and unrolling the thread gets back to the entrance, cut the thread and tie the two ends together.  
 
people are standing in the rain in a cemetery, one person is holding a line of thread
Measuring the Workers’ Circle section of Mount Carmel Cemetery, Queens, in 2022.  
 
An alternative method for larger cemeteries or uneven ground that is hard to navigate in a circle: Both people start at the gate or starting point. One person holds the ball of thread in their hand. The other person takes some grass from the cemetery floor in one hand, and the end of the thread in their other hand. Side by side, the two people walk slowly around the cemetery slowly. The person with the ball slowly unrolls it, passing the thread to the other person. That person passes the thread over the grass in their hand and winds the thread up into another ball. When you get back to where you started, that second ball is the “measurement”, which can be used to make candle wick.  
 
Three feldmesterins in a black and white photo are walking and measuring a grave
Three feldmesterins in South Russia using this method to measure the cemetery during the month of Elul.From S. Weissenberg, ‘Das Feld- und das Kejwermessen’ Mitteilungen zur jüdischen Volkskunde, Neue Folge, 2. Jahrg., H. 1 (17).1906. Courtesy HathiTrust.  
 
 For a more detailed guide to cemetery measuring, click here. 
 
 
A more accessible alternative: measuring ancestral objects 
 
Think about the ancestors whose help and support you would like to call in and gather objects that remind you of them. These could be photos of them, objects that belonged to them, or simply things that make you think of them. If you want to make one large soul candle, place the objects together on the ground or on a table, and encircle the whole collection with thread, as you would a graveyard. If you want to make multiple smaller soul candles, you can encircle each object separately, cutting the thread each time.  
 
A prayer for cemetery measuring, by Gitele the gabete of Koriv, Poland, recorded by Rabbi Tuviah Gutman Rapoport and adapted for Elul measurements by Annabel Gottfried Cohen: 
 
Raboyne shel oylem, azoy vi mir beyde hobn getsoygn dem fodem mit undzer gantsn koyekh, un der fodem iz nisht ibergerisn gevorn, azoy zoln botl vern ale beyze koykhes. Undzere lebns zoln kholile nisht ibergerisn vern. 
 
Master of the universe, since we both pulled the thread with all our power, and the thread was not broken, shall all evil powers come to naught. Our lives shall not – God forbid – be cut short. 
 
 
A song for cemetery measuring from Pruzhany, Poland, recorded by A. Fayvushinsky. Tune unknown. 
 
Kh’hob a mame, Tseytele
Far ir neshome, a kneytele
Dreyt men dos fedeml shtark
Lang, lang 
 
I have a mama, Tseytele,
For her soul – a kneytele (candle wick)
The thread is spun, strong
long, long. 
 
During the month of Elul : the thread for the “living” candle  
 
This can be done through a second cemetery measurement, or by measuring the living members of your family or chosen family. Measure each person head to toe using the same ball of thread, until you have a thread that is the length of all of your people together. You can also include people who don’t live near you by measuring objects connected to them – photos, gifts they gave you, things that remind you of them.   
 
 
In between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur: making the candles  
 
The simplest way to make candles is to use sheet wax. If your thread is not pre-waxed, you may also want to dip it or rub it in melted or softened wax, which will help it to burn. Then, take a piece of thread and press it into the edge of one of the sheets of wax, and roll it up to make a candle.  
 
As described in many Yiddish memoirs, and as I have discovered myself, making the large candles that were traditional for Yom Kippur is very tricky, requiring the very long thread to be folded and twisted in on itself to make a very thick, long wick. It can be done and creates incredible torch-like candles, but be aware that these candles may need to be burned outside!  
 
 
one person holds a thick bunch of very long wick which is sitting on the table, and another person is reaching for the ends
Making a huge Soul Candle wick in 2022.  
 
The result! 
 
a person holds a lit homemade candlea person wearing a tallit smiles and holds up a lit homemade candle 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Tekhines (prayers) for making the living candle  
 
When making the candle for the living, name the living people for whom you want to ask good things on Yom Kippur and in the Jewish new year. These do not have to be limited to the people that you measured to make the wick but can and should include anyone you think is in need of help this year. Each time you roll a new candle or fold the wick, add another person or multiple people.  
 
The following is an example of the tekhine said when making the living candle, recorded in 1906 by S. Weissenberg. The many “etc.s” suggests that the wishes for each person would have been very detailed.  
 
This wick is for my husband, that he may be healthy and do good business in the coming year  
This is for my son, he shall give me much joy, etc.  
This is for my daughter, she shall marry well etc.;  
This is for my second son, etc. 
This one for my father, my mother, etc. 
 
 
Tekhines for the Yom Kippur Soul Candle  
 
The making of Soul Candles for Yom Kippur was extremely common, practiced by the most religious Jewish women, and included in some of the most popular collections of tekhines for women. You can read my translation of one of the most famous of these tekhines here. Another example of this tekhine, written by the legendary Sore Bas Toyvim, can be found on the open siddur project.  
 
As well as reciting these printed tekhines, most women would add their own tekhines, calling in their own beloved dead and ancestors they felt would be able to help them that year. You can use this template to write your own tekhines in English.   
 
 
 
Soul Candle prayers: a template for Yom Kippur. Created by Annabel Gottfried Cohen and Sarah Chandler of Shamir Collective, with resources from Rabbi Noam Lerman of the tkhines proyekt.  
 
 
1) Blessings 
 
Consider: What blessings do I want to call in? (examples: abundance, joy, financial stability, safety, love) 
 
 
2) Ancestors 
 
For each of the blessings you want to call in, think of an ancestor who represents that quality. We recommend using the following three categories of ancestors. Who do you want to call on to help you?  
 
 
Blessing/quality 
Ancestor 
A) Ancient/Biblical or mythical character 
 
 
B) Notable personality / celebrity/ historical figure / someone you admire 
 
 
C) Family member/chosen family (someone you have a connection with) 
 
 
 
 
3) Write your tekhine: For each wick or piece of wick you place in wax/in the candle, name a particular ancestor and ask God to recognize their qualities and grant you those qualities in your life.  You can use these “DIY Tkhines Opening Formulas * פתיחתות פֿון תחינותto begin your tekhine. 
 
SAMPLE TEKHINE by Annabel Gottfried Cohen 
 
Blessing/quality 
Ancestor 
The bravery to speak truth to power, the ability to say no 
Queen Vashti  
Resilience and pursuit of justice 
Emma Goldman  
Love 
My mother Josephine  
 
Divine source of life, knower of all things 
 
I place this wick for Queen Vashti, who had the who said no when no was not an option. May the light of these candles burn in the hearts of all those standing up for Justice, and light up the words of those speaking truth to power. May we be guided with strength, wisdom and gentleness to set boundaries that allow ourselves and others to be safe and whole. May we respect each other’s boundaries, and may none of us be punished or humiliated for simply knowing what is right and saying so. 
 

I place this wick for Emma Goldman, who never gave up the fight for a better world. May I be blessed with her resilience and clarity of principle. In her merit, may God forgive me for all the times that my commitment wavers, for all the times I burn out, and empower me to keep fighting for a better world for all those who live on it.

I place this wick for my mother, Josephine, whose love remains with me despite the short time we had together. In her merit, may I continue to be blessed with unconditional love, and to love others as she loved me.   

 
In the merit of all these ancestors, may I and all my loved ones be judged with mercy this Yom Kippur, and be blessed with good things in the coming year.  

 

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