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Home » Blog » Cemetery/Grave Measuring and Soul Candle Making: A Ritual Guide

Cemetery/Grave Measuring and Soul Candle Making: A Ritual Guide

 
a woman sits on the grass next to a grave which is outlined by thread
 
In in times of crisis such as during a plague, a difficult childbirth or a severe illness, Ashkenazi Jewish women used to measure graves and cemeteries with thread. While they did this, they recited Yiddish prayers, or tekhines, that called on the ancestors for help, asking them to advocate with God on behalf of the sufferer(s). A kind of “direct line” to deceased ancestors and through them to God, these rituals also created a physical boundary between the dead and the living that could help the living stay alive. Used to keep the living on this side of the veil between life and death, the ritual was also sometimes employed to put the dead back where they belonged – to assuage an angry spirit or to exorcise a dybbuk.   
 
The thread from cemetery and grave measurements was usually, but not always, used to make candle wick for special candles which were then gifted to the synagogue or used for ritual purposes. It might also be used for commemorative or protective bands to be worn around the ankles, neck and wrists. In some places, the cemetery was measured with linen, which would then be distributed among the poor as charity. The main principle is that the material should be used to perform a mitzvah or good deed – candlelight by which to study Torah, or as a gift of clothing or protection.  
 
In many communities, these rituals were performed by paid, professional female ritualists known in Yiddish as feldmesterins (cemetery measurers), kneytlekh-leygerins (wick-layers), likht-makherins and likht-tsierins (candle makers). The first evidence of Jewish women conducting these rituals dates to the 12th century, suggesting that they probably developed from a similar medieval Christian practice. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century, they remained very common, practiced by the most pious of Ashkenazi Jewish women, and seen as part of the women’s mitzvah to kindle Shabbat and festival lights. In some communities, cemetery measuring was undertaken yearly in the month of Elul to make soul candles for Yom Kippur. There is evidence that the tradition of Yom Kippur yizkor candles may have developed from this women’s Soul Candle tradition.  
 
 
The “dead thread” 
 
In Eastern Europe, feldmesterins would make their own thread for cemetery and grave measuring, which was known in Yiddish as the “dead thread.” It was usually, but not always, made of cotton. Today, it is possible to buy pre-waxed balls of candlewick, which can be the simplest thing to use for grave measurements. They are, however, not usually long enough for a cemetery measurement.  
 
In some places, an incantation would be said over the thread before using it to measure a grave or the cemetery. I haven’t found any record of this incantation, but here is a short incantation against the evil eye recorded by Abraham Rechtman from Khaykele Tversky, in the Sholem Aleichem house, New York, in the 1950s. Other incantations recorded by Rechtman can be found here 
 
I [name] have come to call out an evil presence. I order you out, I scream you out, I pull you out, I chop you out. This is no place for you to be, to rejoice, to suck up the red blood and break the white bones. Go to the black sea – there where chickens will not go, where geese will not honk, where a dog will not bark. That is where you should be, and there may you rejoice. 
 
If you want to include bad spirit/evil eye protection in your ritual, you could also rub the thread in salt before the measurement.  
 
 
Measuring an individual grave  
 
This is done to create a direct connection with the person buried in that grave, usually a relative or close friend of the person in need for whom the ritual is being conducted. For example, if someone is very sick, you may want to measure their grandmother’s grave and ask her to help them. It can also be a historical figure you want to connect with. For example, the grave of an activist might be measured by people fighting in the same struggle today, to ask for ancestral support.  
 
To measure an individual grave, take a ball of thread or pre-waxed candlewick, and place one end on the ground at the top right-hand corner of the grave. Then unroll it around the grave, placing it on the ground until the whole grave has been encircled. Cut the thread at the point where it meets.  
 
During grave measuring, prayers are said that speak directly to the deceased person. The following example was recorded by anthropologist S. Weissenberg in 1906.  
 
טײַערער פֿאָטער (מוטער און ד.ג), דײַן טאָכטער (נאָמען) האָט זיך מטריח געװען צו קומען צו דיר און דײַן קבֿר צו מעסטן, זײַ־זשע זיך מטריח פֿאַר איר און איר מאַן און אירע קינדער פֿאַר גאָט צו בעטן. דערמוטיקן  זיך אין דײַן פֿריערדיקער ליבשאַפֿט און העלף איר. (א.א.װ) 
 
Tayerer foter (muter un dos glaykh), dayn tokhter (nomen) hot zikh matriekh geven tsu kumen tsu dir un dayn keyver tsu mestn, zay-zhe zikh matriekh far ir un ir man un ire kinder far got tsu betn. dermutikn zikh in dayn frierdiker libshaft un helf ir (un azoy vayter)… 
 
Dearest father (mother/grandparent etc), your daughter (or granddaughter/friend/sibling etc) [name] has taken the trouble to come to you and to measure your grave. Take the trouble to pray to God for her and her husband and her children. Muster in yourself your earlier love and help her (etc.) … 
 
This prayer closely resembles other yiddish graveside petitions, which generally follow the following formula:
 
  1. Greet the deceased, state your relationship to them and that you have come to measure their grave and to ask them for help. Acknowledge that this help will involve effort on their part.  
  2. Praise their good deeds and remind them of their connection to you, or, if you are measuring the grave of someone you didn’t know personally, their connection to your family or your community  
  3. Tell them about the crisis you are facing and ask for their help. Ask them to advocate for you in the spirit world, and to ask God to show you and your loved ones mercy and to help you.  
  4. Thank them and wish them well.
 
 
black and white picture of a woman measuring a grave
A feldmesterin measures a grave for a client in South Russia, c. 1906. Image taken from S. Weissenberg, ‘Das Feld- und das Kejwermessen’ Mitteilungen zur jüdischen Volkskunde, Neue Folge, 2. Jahrg., H. 1 (17).1906. Courtsey HathiTrust. 
 
 
Measuring the cemetery   
 
This is usually done in a time of extreme crisis, when somebody or somebodies’ lives are at risk. It can also be used to connect to the ancestors of a particular place, to ask for healing for that place, or for the descendants of those people, for example. The first cemetery I measured was in Kretinga, Lithuania, the shtetl where my grandfather’s family are from. I wanted to create a connection with what was the only remnant of Jewish life in the town, but I was also overwhelmed by Holocaust trauma and wanted to do a ritual that involved movement and asked for healing.  
 
Cemetery measurements require at least two people. Begin at the entrance to the cemetery, or if there is no clear entrance, at any point on the edge of the graveyard. One person stands at the entrance, holding the end of the ball of thread, while the other one walks clockwise around the perimeter of the cemetery, unrolling the thread and placing it on the ground or the fence. If you have multiple people taking part, you can ask others to stop along the way and hold the thread to keep it in place. Once the person walking and unrolling the thread gets back to the entrance, cut the thread and tie the two ends together.  
 
 
people are standing in the rain in a cemetery, one person is holding a line of thread
Measuring the Workers’ Circle section of Mount Carmel Cemetery, Queens, in 2022.  
 
 
An alternative method for larger cemeteries or uneven ground that is hard to navigate in a circle:  
 
Both people start at the gate or starting point. One person holds the ball of thread in their hand. The other person takes some grass from the cemetery floor in one hand, and the end of the thread in their other hand. Side by side, the two people walk slowly around the cemetery slowly. The person with the ball slowly unrolls it, passing the thread to the other person. That person passes the thread over the grass in their hand and winds the thread up into another ball, or around an object in their hand. When you get back to where you started, that second ball is the “measurement”, which can be used to make candle wick.  
 
 
Three feldmesterins in a black and white photo are walking and measuring a grave
Three feldmesterins in South Russia using this method to measure the cemetery during the month of Elul.From S. Weissenberg, ‘Das Feld- und das Kejwermessen’ Mitteilungen zur jüdischen Volkskunde, Neue Folge, 2. Jahrg., H. 1 (17).1906. Courtesy HathiTrust.  
 
 
Measuring ancestral objects  
 
In traditional belief, every cemetery was seen as a kind of portal to the spirit world. Those of us who don’t live near the graves of our ancestors can still connect with them by measuring any cemetery that is accessible to us. At the same time, the much more personal act of measuring an individual grave or a cemetery we ourselves feel connected to is not always available to us following the great migrations of the last 150 years. Cemetery measuring is also not the most accessible practice. For all of these reasons, I am linking this alternative developed by Rabbi Noam Lerman, in which ancestral objects, such as jewelry, clothing, photos, or anything that reminds you of the deceased, might be measured instead of graves. Similar alternatives have also been proposed by other ritualists, for example in this kit sold by Narrow Bridge Candles 
 
 
A prayer for cemetery measuring, by Gitele the gabete of Koriv, Poland, recorded by Rabbi Tuviah Gutman Rapoport:  
 
Raboyne shel oylem, azoy vi mir beyde hobn getsoygn dem fodem mit undzer gantsn koyekh, un der fodem iz nisht ibergerisn gevorn, azoy zoln botl vern ale beyze koykhes. Dem tayern kinds lebn zol kholile nisht ibergerisn vern.  
 
Master of the universe, since we both pulled the thread with all our power, and the thread was not broken, shall all evil powers come to naught. [Name of sufferer]’s life shall not – God forbid – be cut short. 
 
In Elul, or during a pandemic or communal crisis, change the last line to 
 
Our lives shall not – God forbid – be cut short.” 
 
 
A song for cemetery measuring from Pruzhany, Poland, recorded by A. Fayvushinsky. Tune unknown.  
 
Kh’hob a mame, Tseytele
Far ir neshome, a kneytele
Dreyt men dos fedeml shtark
Lang, lang 
 
I have a mama, Tseytele,
For her soul – a kneytele (candle wick)
The thread is spun, strong
long, long. 
 
 
Part 2: Making the candles  
 
The thread from cemetery and grave measurements can either be cut up into shorter lengths and used to make multiple candles or folded and twisted to make one large candle (this is much trickier!) The candles can be gifted to a synagogue, other place of prayer or learning, or saved to use as candles for Chanukah or other festivals. The remains of these candles are also believed to have healing and protective properties when burned.   
 
The simplest way to make candles is to use sheet wax. If your thread is not pre-waxed, you may also want to dip it or rub it in melted or softened wax, which will help it to burn. Then, take a piece of thread and press it onto the edge of one of the sheets of wax, and roll it up to make a candle.   
 
As you make the candle, name the deceased ancestors you want to ask for help, focusing on their qualities and life experiences that you believe will help in this time. Name also the person or people you are asking for help for, and what exactly you are asking for (a complete recovery, an easy childbirth, etc.) You can use the tekhine template in this guide to making Soul Candles for Yom Kippur to help you.   
 
As noted at the beginning of this guide, the thread from grave and cemetery measurements can also be used for things other than candles. The measurements can also be conducted using materials other than thread – like fabric, for example. The guiding principle is that whatever object you produce should be used for ritual purposes, or in a good deed – making an item to give to someone who needs that item.  
 
 
a group of 9 tall yellow homemade candles burning on a piece of foilA Soul Candle menorah 
 
A new innovation: soul candles as a source of connection on happy occasions 
 
Another very popular custom in Jewish Eastern Europe – and also often led by professional women prayer leaders – was going to the cemetery to invite deceased loved ones to weddings, especially if the bride had lost one or both parents. In some recent attempts to revise this practice, I decided to combine the invitation with a grave measurement to help accentuate the connection. The candles made from the measurement can then be brought to and burned at the wedding or other celebration, which is a beautiful way to bring in the presence of those we have lost. Most recently, I made a soul candle for two friends using threads that they had used to measure ancestral objects. I then lit the candle under the khupe – the wedding canopy – inviting their deceased loved ones to be present for the ceremony.
 
A note for readers concerned with historical accuracy: this is my innovation. The invitation custom did not usually involve measurements, which was a ritual for times of crisis.  

Annabel Gottfried Cohen is a researcher, Yiddish teacher and translator currently working towards a PhD in modern Jewish history. She translates materials related to women’s traditions in Eastern Europe, publishing them on her website www.pullingatthreads.com 

 

 

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