An Interesting Experiment: This Is the Ritual

This is the Ritual:
Bowing during the morning blessings.

I used to refuse to bend my knee
and bow
during the Morning Blessings.
Barukh Atah Etcetera
Thank you for Etecetera….
Who was I bowing to?
A male king?
That’s not God.
Screw that.

But then I thought
What if I bowed anyway?
What would that feel like?
So I tried it for a month.
As an interesting experiment
I bowed deeply for a month.
And
It was  mechanical, pointless.
And then one day, kind of without warning
Each time I bowed, I found there was a reason.

I bowed to history and tradition,
I bowed because my ancestors bowed.   
I bowed to everyone who has ever been forced to bow,
I bowed because everyone else in the room was bowing.
I bowed to my fear of the future,
I bowed to my regrets of the past.
I bowed because I am not the center of the universe.
I bowed because I do feel God’s presence, somehow.

This is the Ritual:
Wearing a tallitA four-cornered garment to which ritual fringes (tzitzit/tzitzi'ot) are affixed. The knots in the fringes represent the name of God and remind us of God's commandments. The tallit is worn during prayer and can also be drawn about oneself or around the bride and groom to symbolize divine protection..

I never wore a tallis
During the ShabbatShabbat is the Sabbath day, the Day of Rest, and is observed from Friday night through Saturday night. Is set aside from the rest of the week both in honor of the fact that God rested on the seventh day after creating the world. On Shabbat, many Jews observe prohibitions from various activities designated as work. Shabbat is traditionally observed with festive meals, wine, challah, prayers, the reading and studying of Torah, conjugal relations, family time, and time with friends. morning service
When I was little
It’s cause I was a girl
Girls didn’t do that
I sat next to my Daddy in services and played with his tallis fringes
But they were his, not mine,
Never to be mine.
And anyway, why should I?
Do I really think God cares whether I wear fringes?
Do I even believe in the kind of God who would care if I wore a frigging shawl?
I don’t believe in religious rules!
I can wear whatever I want!
How dare you tell me how to be a Jew!!
And anyway, navy blue stripes,
So boring.
Everybody knows
I’m all about the fashion accessories,
So screw that

But then I thought,
What if I wore a tallis anyway?
What would it feel like?
So I wore it for a month,
As an interesting experiment.
And
It was dramatic and self-aggrandizing, look at me.
And then one day, kind of without warning,
Each time I put on my tallit I found there was a reason.

I put on the tallit because it was winter and it kept me warm.
I put on the tallit to wrap myself in the memory of my father, sometimes I even wore his.
I put on the tallit because I can and you can’t stop me.
I put on the tallit because it covered the vanity of whatever I was wearing that day.
I put on the tallit because I found one that matched my outfit.
I put on the tallit because it draped me in TorahThe Five Books of Moses, and the foundation of all of Jewish life and lore. The Torah is considered the heart and soul of the Jewish people, and study of the Torah is a high mitzvah. The Torah itself a scroll that is hand lettered on parchment, elaborately dressed and decorated, and stored in a decorative ark. It is chanted aloud on Mondays, Thursdays, and Shabbat, according to a yearly cycle. Sometimes "Torah" is used as a colloquial term for Jewish learning and narrative in general..
I put on the tallit because God apparently has a thing for fringes and who am I to argue?
I put on the tallit because women who wear tallit at the KotelThe Western Wall, which was a retaining wall of the Second Temple, is all that visibly remains of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. It has long been a holy site for Jews. Since 1967, when the Israeli army recaptured the Old City, including the Western Wall, a large plaza has been created where Jews can congregate and pray. The Wall has also been the subject of controversy, including for women from liberal Judaism, who have been successfully barred from reading from the Torah or donning a tallit at the wall., the Wailing Wall, getA writ of divorce. Traditionally, only a man can grant his wife a get. Liberal Jews have amended this tradition, making divorce more egalitarian. arrested by the state of IsraelLit. ''the one who struggles with God.'' Israel means many things. It is first used with reference to Jacob, whose name is changed to Israel (Genesis 32:29), the one who struggles with God. Jacob's children, the Jewish people, become B'nai Israel, the children of Israel. The name also refers to the land of Israel and the State of Israel..

This is the Ritual:
Wearing a kippahA small cap, traditionally worn by men, symbolizing humility before God. Although women traditionally covered their heads with a scarf or hat as a sign of modesty, today, some women wear kippot as well..

I sometimes wore a yarmulke when I was young
The flimsy lacy kind.
Stuck on with a bobby pin,
A trivial thing,
A girly affectation,
Stupid.
A real kippah was for boys,
It fit their short hair.
But it flattened my lovely curls
So screw that.

But then I thought
What if I wore a kippah anyway?
What would it feel like?
So I wore a kippah on my head for a month,
As an interesting experiment.

Immediately, each time I put on my kippah,
I found there was a reason.
And it was amazing!

I put on my kippah to make a feminist statement.
I put on my kippah because it shows respect for the synagogue and the prayer leaders.
I put on my kippah to announce to myself that I have entered the shulSynagogue (Yiddish) and I must be mindful.
I put on my kippah because I can have a lot of different ones to match my moods and my earrings.
I put on my kippah because everything underneath becomes a capsule of kadosh, of holiness.
I put on my kippah because it reminds me to connect to God, however I understand God that day.

These are the rituals:

When I thank a being I don’t believe in at least in the old way
Except when I do,
When I need something bigger than myself, 
I bow.

When I go to services
And I need to separate myself from the mundane
But not my community,
I wrap myself in my tallit.

When I begin another vertical conversation with the non-linear
And I need to place myself in kesher, connection,
I put on my hat of holy, my kippah.

Berukhah At Achat, Barukh Atah Ekhad, Bless the One-ness, giving us the ability to make interesting experiments, encircling time and space with meaning.  

Amen.