Silenced by the
majority
who don’t know
or don’t care
or can’t hear
I thought I
made myself
clear
I repeated the story
over and over
until I couldn’t
get the words out
anymore
I tried to explain
in advance
this time
so there wouldn’t be
anymore surprises
so I could feel
secure
and have faith
that my spiritual
community
would support me
when the big bad wolf
came to blow down
my house
the rabbi–not yet
ordained–says he
understands, he promised
but then my
ex-mother-in-law
called him and
mentioned that she
is on the board of
the rabbinic association
he wants to join
she encouraged him
to be receptive to her son
when he calls
And so my rabbi danced
and when he finally
told me how he came to
welcome my ex to his
office, to reconsider his
wishes
my fantasy of dancing
at my daughter’s bat mitzvahLit. Commandment. It is traditionally held that there are 613 mitzvot (plural) in Judaism, both postive commandments (mandating actions) and negative commandments (prohibiting actions). Mitzvah has also become colloquially assumed to mean the idea of a “good deed."
at my wedding to a man
a menschLit. A man (Yiddish) Usually connotes a good person who behaves in an ethical way.
I met there
disintegrated
chronic post traumatic stress
enhanced
And then he–the rabbi–wanted a hug
just like my ex-husband
so he could feel good
after hurting me
my cries
muffled
muzzled
muted
by the big bad bully
son of a bully
using rabbis
to destroy
my sanctuary
What does that leave
for our daughters?
