Inspired by the traditional bridal mikveh (ritual bath) practice, this handwashing ceremony invites a bride’s close circle to offer blessings, support, and grounding prior to her wedding. This ceremony may easily be adapted for any gender(s) and/or for two partners together.
Materials:
- Water (about 1 quart): Gather living waters from a river, lake, ocean, or other nearby water source. You may also choose to use water from a sink or bath.
- Large bowl(s): Pour the waters into a large bowl, basin, or other vessel to draw from. Unless you are outdoors or washing hands over a sink/tub, you will need another empty bowl or basin to catch the water.
- Cup: Use a handwashing cup, drinking cup, or other vessel for pouring the waters over hands.
Ceremony:
Opening (Intention)
Gather in a circle.
Sing or hum 3 verses of a niggun (wordless melody) and/or take 3 collective deep breaths to arrive together with all your heart, all your soul, and all your might. [1]
Group: For generations, our ancestors have harnessed the power of water in moments of change. Miriam danced with the Israelites through the sea into freedom. Rebecca and Isaac, then Jacob and Rachel, each encountered their beloveds and began new lives at the gently flowing water of the well. [2] Using the ancient practice of handwashing, we call in the wisdom of our ancestors to uplift [Bride] in this season of simcha.Bride: Like the matriarchs before me, I welcome the water’s blessings as I embark on a loving transformation.
First Pour (Presence)
Group: Today we come together to honor [Bride]’s journey. Like a flowing river, your winding path has led you to a loving companion. We celebrate all the versions of you that led to this moment, and we surround you with love as you prepare for this holy transition.
Bride: As I arrive here, I am grounded in gratitude for the holy community that has nourished and nurtured me. I witness the ways my partner and I have grown over the years, and I honor the time, dedication, and love that has been poured into our relationship.
Group: May the support, grounding, and presence you feel today continue to grow and deepen into the future.
Together:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ, מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה
Barukh Atah Adonai Eloheinu, Melekh haolam, shehekheyanu,
v’kiy’manu, v’higiyanu laz’man hazeh.
v’kiy’manu, v’higiyanu laz’man hazeh.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who has kept us alive,
sustained us, and brought us to this season.
sustained us, and brought us to this season.
The Bride holds her hands over the bowl/basin with palms up. A member of her circle pours water slowly over each hand.
Second Pour (Transformation)
Group: Water does not erase — it softens. As [Bride] prepares for marriage, the water invites her, too, to soften. Amidst the to-do lists and planning, these waters remind you to slow down, to release whatever makes you feel stuck, and to shape your new self with intention and care.
Bride: As the waters wash over my hands, I welcome the transformations ahead as a forever partner to my beloved. I commit to a life of love and learning in marriage, as a seal upon my spouse’s heart [3].
Group: May you leave behind that which you no longer choose and become a creator of new possibilities [4].
Together:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ מָקוֹר הַחַיִּים שֶׁבָּרָא אוֹתָנוּ בְּצַלְמוֹ, וּמַּזְמִין אוֹתָנוּ לְחַדֵּשׁ בְּכָל יוֹם תָּמִיד מַעֲשֵׂה בְּרֵאשִׁית
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ יוֹצֵר יְצִירִים
Barukh Atah HaShem, Makor HaChayim, shebara ohtanu betzelamo, umazmin ohtanu lechadesh bekol yom tamid ma’aseh bereishit. Barukh atah HaShem yotzeir yatzirim.
Blessed are You, Hashem Source of Life Who created us in Your image and invites us to renew daily, perpetually, the work of creation. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who created us creative. [5]
The Bride holds her hands over the bowl/basin with palms down. A member of her circle pours water slowly over each hand.
Third Pour (Blessing)
Group: Source of Living Waters, bless this bride with a future of delight, pleasure, love, peace and friendship [6]. We wish that [Bride]’s blessings will flow abundantly like a rushing river, and her heart will expand like a vast ocean.
Bride: Shekhinah, grant me with resilience to overcome rocky waters, and guide me with your wisdom as I dive into a new phase of life.
Group: May these waters pave the way for renewal and rejoicing in marriage.
Together:
אֲנָא מַשָּׁאִי מְלֹא יָדַי מַיָּא, וְנִתָּן לִי מְלֹא חָפְנָאֵי טִיבוּתָא
Ana mashiya melo yadai maya, u-nitan li melo chapenai tivotah
I washed with my hands full of water, and I was granted my hands full of goodness. [7]
The Bride holds her hands over the bowl/basin with palms up. A member of her circle pours water slowly over each hand.
Footnotes
[1] Deuteronomy 6:5-9
[3] Song of Songs 8:6
[6] Sheva Brachot, Seven Blessings
[7] Kav HaYashar 13
